Emily Dawson
by Talia345
Summary: Gabriella Dawson has a little sister. A very special little sister. This little sister has a very extensive list of skills and abilities while also a list of setbacks and disabilities. Follow her and her relationships with the firehouse and her abilities and her finding her way through a tough time in her life. Disclaimer: don't own Warnings:trigger, selfharm, ED, Bullying, Other
1. Introduction

**Does it ever happen to you that things sort of just… put themselves on paper? Well yeah… Umm… obviously 1****st**** season, I'm going out of order with some of the incidents… but I don't think the voight thing has happened yet for my timeline. Like I said the things they respond to are gonna jump so I guess we aren't really in a specific episode but yeah. **

**Disclaimer: wish I did own it, or was allowed to borrow it.**

**Warning: trigger maybe, harsh flashbacks, language, cruelty at school, possible sexy scenes, self harm will ensue, eating disorders maybe, graphic descriptions… just be on the lookout, and imma rate it the way I rate it because I have diagnosed paranoia… anyway…yeah**

**Background**

Emily Dawson was close with a lot of guys in the firehouse. There were a few whose hearts she had stolen completely, those she had wrapped around her small, bony fingers. Casey and Severide were the two she had closest to her heart. Casey was her sister's love muse, and Severide was her makeshift sister's roommate. They were the two she could do anything with from cuddling up to on the couch and falling asleep in, to beating up the guy who made a move on her. The new guy Mills and she were quickly growing on each other, she pounced on him for piggy backs and ran when he threatened to tickle her, and he too would jump on any guy who made a pass.

Cruz was the guy who threw her over his shoulder and ran around with before dumping her onto the couch to pass to Otis. Otis tickled her 'till she squealed, and protected her when time came, and laughed with her 'till the ends of the universe with witty remarks and playful skits and voices. Hermann was her debate partner. Night and day, the two fought like crazy over random philosophical topics. It kept everyone entertained to see the two waltz in and change the subject with just one sentence. They argued without meaning, words dripping with sarcasm. Mouch was her T.V partner, she was every part one of the boys as she was one of the girls. Football and popcorn and root bear were her comfort foods to eat with Mouch and some of the other guys.

Going back to Mills though. She pounced on him for piggybacks and used him as her punching bag. He chased her for miles 'til they couldn't breathe. He helped her with homework, for school she did not wish to attend. He would soon make his way through the ranks to another guy she curled up next to, sleep on, dream on, cry on, talk to, go to, pray for. They fought and played and stayed up late. She helped him to cook and to clean, and made fun of him in a hearty, sister-like way. He was another brother, just like chief was another father figure.

Chief was protective of everyone, but Emily took the lead in the line. He's picked her up so many times from so many things. He gave her advice and helped her with anything. When she was young, she'd trusted him third-and-third-most in the Firehouse; Gaby came in first, Shay in second, and he in third. It still was this way, but from a distance. She was closer to the others now, but she still trusted him still most of all.

Shay was everything all balled into one. She was petite like Emily, strong, like Emily, she was bold and loving and knowledgeable like Emily. She was strong enough to toss the girl around, they debated, and played, cuddled, cared for, helped, and loved. Shay was another sister in the young girl's eyes. One neither Emily nor her sister, Gaby, would give up. Gaby went out sometimes, or stayed late passed Shay, so shay stayed with Emily so she wouldn't be alone or scared.

It wasn't good for Emily to be alone. There are eight million different sides to the girl; some everyone knew, some that a few knew, some that only the very closest know, some only Emily, and some not even Emily knew.

Emily is small. Always had been, always will be. She was special like no one knew and special like she wished she didn't know. Emily was born with a hole in her heart; no one knew whether she was going to survive or not. She spent three years in the hospital, in and out of that cold, sterile surgery room. But there was something special, so special, to counteract that negativity like nothing else would. Emily had an IQ of one hundred ninety-four; there was a part of her brain that was larger than all the rest, and one hundred times more capable of learning than that of a normal human adult. That part was the communications part of her brain.

Emily was fluent in many languages: French, Spanish, Latin, Italian, Sign Language, German, Russian, and a few others. She was a prodigy in more ways than one, special to the max in all of them like the movie August Rush. But there was something her brain was able to do and teach itself, that only four people in the whole world and history of the world had ever been able to do. Only two were alive at the time, they lived on opposite sides of the world, and they were bound by fate to be the closest in the possibility of more ways than one. They were able to mentally communicate with animals. These two people, Emily included, could send a message with their brains, to an animal of the wild or the domestic. All animals already have this ability to do so.

Despite the hole in her heart, and the challenged she should have faced, Emily has moved on tremendously from that part of her life and has beat the odds by more than anyone could ever imagine. Emily is a dancer, a gymnast, a track-star, a world-class horseback rider, and she used to be a singer. Emily of course would only be _considered_ a world-class rider, it's one of the many things Emily would cease to want anyone to see. No one knew that Emily didn't totally give up on her singing either, all anyone knew was that she'd seemed to give it up after the accident.

There are other things about Emily and her history, when she was five, she'd already be living with one of possibly the worst days of her life. Her parents were taken from the world by a man who drowned his sorrows in liquor and made them pay the price.

Emily now had problems keeping calm; she was prone to flashbacks, panic attacks, fainting spells, rapid heartbeat and seizures. She's enlisted the help of service dog, Basil to help with a few of these things. Basil was part white Arctic Wolf, and part albino Ski Husky. But back to Emily, there are moments when her drift to space costs more than time, but also costs energy, happiness, hope. Sometimes, she spirals into a flashback, which can lead to a panic attack or the heartbeat thing. Come this time, Emily has the option to use her I.V. meds through syringe, or use her nebulizer, which is essentially a medicinal humidifier, with a mask for the patient to wear. She only uses this at home, or the Firehouse. This is the part of Emily that everybody knows.

When Emily was five, on that fateful day in the car, a part of her died with the rest of the people in her car. She withdrew, stopped eating, and stopped singing. She didn't talk much to anyone, or want to be held. She was put in a wheelchair due to her injuries, and when she finally got out, she didn't want anyone from the Firehouse to see her do everything she did with her legs. She hadn't even wanted Gabriella, Antonio, or Shay to see. That was saying something because they were her family. She had them drop her off at physical therapy, and when she was allowed to return to everything she did before, she didn't want the people she knew to watch her with her dance classes, her riding classes, or her gymnastics classes. After a while, it seemed as though she let school consume her, and she stayed after for countless activities, it seemed as though she dropped these passions altogether. But she didn't, and she was brilliant at it all. This is the part that only very few or even only she knew.

**Present Day, Present Time****(this is where I might want the story to actually begin, if I get enough viewers or visitors, or feedback, I may or may not continue)**

She's sitting at the long oak table in the open common room of the Firehouse. She has her music in her ears, her dog by her side, her things spread all about, and a pen in hand. Shay is at the other end of the table, hands in her lap, staring at a newspaper, and letting her fresh-brewed coffee cool a little. There were a few guys watching a game on the T.V. with Mouch, and Peter Mills was in the kitchen making her a gourmet grilled cheese. Suddenly, she comes to the realization that she isn't with the present world anymore, but spiraling through space back in time into the first flashback of the night.

_Flashback_

_ Her eyes opened with difficulty, the light was the first thing she noticed, and her eyes squinted and blinked to make it go away. And then, magically, it did. The room got dim, but not dark, she could open her eyes all the way to make out the faces of her much-older siblings. She registered the shift in the mattress and turned her head painfully to the right. There was her sister, Gabriella, holding her hand, tears racing down her cheeks. She sputtered into her smile and young Emily craned her neck the other way to look at the figure that had place a large, warm hand on her forehead. She found herself staring into the puffy eyes of her brother, Antonio._

_ "Wh-Where's mommy?" she stuttered, those special eyes welling with tears when the faces of her siblings fell nearly to the floor. Her tears overflowed, breaking through the dam and spilling onto her cheeks. The sight wasn't one her sister could handle, so she stood and walked out of the room, holding her stomach with one arm, and clamping her mouth shut with the other hand. She left Emily, swinging her arm in the air, grasping for nothing with her tiny hands, crying and alone with a broken brother who could only repeat to her, "I'm Sorry"_

"Emily!" she heard, breaking her from the flashback. She jumped and looked up at Shay, then at Casey, who'd craned his head to look at her, his face screwing with worry.

"I'm sorry, I-I'm fine..." she waved it off and returned to her studying, grateful that her long, thick locks hid her heated cheeks until the pair accepted and turned away. Her work was college level; she was a sophomore in high-school, and only twelve years old. They'd send her right to college, or grad-school even, but they wanted to keep her socially with her group, and didn't want to overwhelm her. She buried herself, concentrated, back into her work and soon got lost in the world's fascinatingly cruel past.

She was so engrossed in her work, that she hadn't noticed it when her sister stormed into the room. She hadn't registered Basil getting upright, or the sound of Gaby's shoes on tile. The only thing that broke her spell was the slamming of papers down in front of her. With a jump, she looked up and pulled the bud from her ear.

"What the hell is this?!" her sister all but screamed in her face. She steeled herself and looked down. She froze, it was the fax of today's write-up to the principal's office, and a full report on what had happened, completed with multiple viewpoints. She looked up at her sister, her face and soul going soft with the raw anger on her mother-figure's face.

"I...I-uh...I..." she couldnt form the words to tell off her sister. But then "It's the write-up I got today, problem?" she said plainly, stacking the cards to her poker face one more time. Gaby's face twisted into something motherly surprised, like you'd had the F-bomb dropped on you for the first time by your ten-year-old.

"Uhh...yeah! What the hell happened?!" she asked defiantly.

"Dawson..." Shay started. Wrong move.

"You stay the hell out of this Shay!" She yelled, throwing her a harsh glare with warning eyes. Shay stepped back and placed her hands palm out in front of her in surrender.

"I...Well... I-uh... I slapped a girl in my class because I'm fed up." she said without fear

"Fed up with what?" Emily froze. This was one of those things that only she knew; only she was supposed to know. No one else.

"Emily. Emily! Look at me." she looked up, swallowing the lump in her throat and shoving the tears into the pit of her stomach. "Emily. Fed up with what?" She began to feel that familiar pain in her chest, she registered her breathing as it started to get heavier, and she registered the feel of wet nose on her palm as her savior pleaded for her attention. She began to clench her fists, it was her way of trying to relax, to even everything. Obviously, it didn't work because Basil began to whine. But she managed, and then, she broke.

"I'm fed up with the way people treat me!" she yelled "I'm fed up with school! Being the baby! It isn't fair! I can do squat at school because I can feel their stares and I start to get anxious! I've gone to the nurse before to sit on her nebulizer because my meds don't work! People purposefully try to break the two of us up" she continued to yell, grasping a handful of fur to keep some sanity. "That crash you responded to the other day? Yeah, I watch the news, I'm literate, I can read, apparently it's so similar to what happened to me, that the broadcasters are putting us back on the news! That was NINE YEARS AGO, GABY! I get weird looks, people talk! My new nickname is 'Killer' because if I wasn't in that car, mom would have been able to protect herself, and maybe even dad! And we'd all be alive!

"You know what else? This time? I was sticking up for YOU and for SHAY because I'm sick and tired of that too! I'm tired of people saying that you're a dyke just because your ambo partner's gay. What do I care? I don't! Shay all but adopted me! I would call either one of you 'mom' if I had the guts to! She's one of the best things that's ever happened to me! I have the photostrip pictures of us in my locker, but the runt of the faggot-family can't just be happy! I'm done. With everything!

" What's the last thing you heard about me and school ah? Do you know where I go afterschool? 'Cause it ain't afterschool, school-run activities, at least some of them! I tell you that!" she stopped, gripping to the scruff of Basil's neck and breathing hard."

Gaby took a small step forward, placing a hand in front of her with her palm to the floor. Emily back hastily away, in perfect sync with the wolf by her side. "NO!" she screamed, "What do you know about my school life huh? What do you know?" Gaby's arms dropped limply by her sides in defeat. Emily managed to straighten and square her jaw

"Nothing. Exactly. You know nothing! Did you know I'm the track-star of the school? But it doesn't matter because everyone hates the twelve-year-old for stealing the title. Did you know that I'm the most well rounded dance student? They pulled me out of Dance II because they felt I was too advanced and put me in AP Dance. Did you know that I go to Gymnastics and other dance classes afterschool? I'm the best gymnast ages whatever to sixteen. And I'm the best dancer of the studio. OF THE STUDIO! Did you know that?"

Before anyone could respond, the bell sounded and a monotonous voice sounded over the PA system "Engine 51, Truck 81, Squad 3, Ambulance 61, trapped billboard tagger…" she drowned it out. When it stopped, Gaby's shoulders sagged and her eyes deflated, she took a few steps backward and turned, only to start the rush that began whenever the beep sounded throughout the station.

This time…she was left alone…

**Ok guys…so this was something that sorta came to me… I don't really know what it is…but I do hope you like it. I've recently found an addiction to this show so… PLEASE tell me what you think by reviewing or following or favoriting or making it an alert story so that I know whether to continue or not. Let me know If you have suggestions or requests. Thanks a bunch y'all! Love ya bunches!**


	2. Independence

_** Hope you like it. spread the word. And thank you to the people who reviewed, and responded and favorited and followed and all that junk. Love ya bunches!**_

_Before anyone could respond, the bell sounded and a monotonous voice sounded over the PA system "Engine 51, Truck 81, Squad 3, Ambulance 61, trapped billboard tagger…" she drowned it out. When it stopped, Gaby's shoulders sagged and her eyes deflated, she took a few steps backward and turned, only to start the rush that began whenever the beep sounded throughout the station._

_This time…she was left alone…_

The firehouse suddenly seemed so empty… so, still and quiet. There had always been grown babies running around the place yelling at each other. It was different, an eerie kind of different. It was an intimidating feeling, her emotions started to feel like too much. They floated around in the large open space now, it was usual for someone to absorb one of those emotions and come to rescue her, but there was nothing now, just their presence building around her. Her gaze wandered, she began to take things in she hadn't noticed before: the long scar down the middle of the table, the ripped cushion, the waxed tile, the way the fire-pole was rusted to the floor. Her eyes peered around the kitchen, landing longingly on the knife block. Before she could make her move towards it, the familiar thudding in her ears, heaving of her chest, arose around her. Her mind was spiraling down that train-track of flashbacks and there was no one there to save her. She only managed to make it to the couch before the horrifying past took precedence in her thoughts.

_ "Perfect" exclaimed her mother, bopping little Emily on the nose with her index finger when the little monkey turned around. They were putting on the final touches before her dance recital and momma had just tightened the droopy yellow and purple polka-dotted bow into her thick, honey-blonde bun._

_ "Momma! Let's GO! I canNOT be late I have a solo! It is my debut! LET'S GO!" the young girl whined, taking her mother's hand in bother of hers and pulling her towards the front door. But just as soon as she'd gotten dramatic, she got serious, dropping momma's hand to run and give her older siblings a hug and a sloppy kiss. They would be joining momma and papa later, a few performances before Emily's. _

_ The car ride wouldn't be too long if traffic held up, only half an hour. Little monkey had convinced her mom to sit next to her in the backseat and jump around to the music playing loudly through the speakers. Her black and hot-pink car seat bounced around wildly as she moved to the music she'd soon be performing to. When she caught her dad's gaze in the rearview, she smiled that wide, cheeky smile that made his grow even wider, spreading into the cores of his eyes. And there was the squeal of tires and…_

Wait…those weren't part of the flashback. Emily caught herself from falling forward and listened further. There was the slam of a car door and then the slam of another car door. The door to the station flew open and in walked Peter's sister, Elyse, with those big boxes of food she dropped off for him to cook with.

"Emily, hey, what are you doing here? There's no one here. Was there a call?"

"What? Oh no, I'm fine, nothing happened, they just… left me here this time. I'm okay, I don't need babysitters" she spat, immediately regretting it and reverting her eyes. Elyse stood there, her face screwed in confusion and she nodded. She opened her mouth to say something but Emily was already moving in the direction of the bunks, leaving Elyse to do what she would with the information provided.

She weaved her way to sister's bunk room but stopped short with her hand on the knob, _in order to be more independent, _she thought, _I shouldn't sleep in here, or I should ask for my own bunk room…maybe I should just sleep on the floor. _Slowly, she pulled her hand back, cradling it to her chest. She moved carefully, almost as if there was something behind the door that she didn't want to hear her, or she didn't want to see. Walking a few careful paces backwards, she turned and headed in the direction of another bunk room.

Opening the door to that one, she took in its appearance. The gray walls were all standard, but the pictures were to each his own. There were pictures upon pictures upon pictures; Shay in different, adventurous locations, Shay and past relationships or other people, Shay and the crew from the 'house. There were a lot of Shay and Gaby, even more of Shay and Emily, and yet more of the three of them, photo strips like Emily's locker. They all looked happy, with emotions, and good feelings, just… loving life. The bed was inviting; it was the standard bed they all had, but Shay had bright green and electric blue sheets and a Chicago skyline duvet cover. There were regular pillows and body pillows and decorative pillows of a million colors.

Emily took cautious steps toward it, but rerouted to the other side where she opened a simple, black trunk. It was empty inside, but Emily began to pull off the pillows she wasn't going to use and placed them in as neat a pile as possible in the trunk. She pulled the covers back and peeled off her hoodie; she lowered herself to the bed and welcomed the warmth that flooded through her when she pulled the covers around her. She inhaled the scent of Shay's shampoo and let her eyes flit closed at the homely smell of almonds and Shea-butter.

Her bliss was disrupted by an abrupt shift in the mattress and her eyes opened to the sight of Basil wriggling her way under the covers. She made it under and turned three times before flopping to her side with her back pressed to Emily's torso and let her eyelids drop closed. Emily let out a sharp chuckle and hunkered down in the bed and placed an arm around the midsection of her wolf and let her eyes too droop like deadweights into slumber.

**With Gabriela and Shay, Returning from the call**

"Did you understand any of that?" Gabriela asked her partner as she exited the Ambulance.

"The tagger or Emily?" She asked with a slight laugh. Gaby sent her 'the eyes' and clapped a hand to Shay's shoulder to shove her. Shay stumbled sideways but recovered with a giggle.

"She just, I don't know, she has a few good points, a lot that I wasn't expecting, but" she sighed heavily and brought her hand up to rub her eyes. She pulled her hand away to reveal the whites of her eyes red and watery, "She talked about how they're bullying her because of me… I can't…I can't do that, not to her, she's my little sister Gaby, how can I let them do that? How did I not notice?" she asked, looking at the ground. Gabriela brought her hand to Shay's shoulder and ducked to look her in the eyes

"Hey, hey, look, you aren't the only one, I should have noticed it, and I should have been the first to notice it. But you know Em, she bottles, she isn't always a talker. It takes things like this for her to let it all out. I feel really bad… how could I not know? About- about any of it?" Gaby asked defeatedly. They had a mental conversation to leave it at that because there wasn't going to be a way that either of them could answer the questions.

They rounded the front of the station and took mental note of Elyse's car. Shay pulled the door open and held it for Gaby. Walking in, they let the emptiness settle… wait, empty, where's Emily? They strode into the common room and saw Elyse in the kitchen

"Elyse hey, how are you? I hate to not talk but did you see Emily?" Gabriela asked worriedly.

"Hey ladies, I'm good thanks. I saw her, she went to the bunks. She was a little weird, she was sitting on the couch, sort of… looking at nothing, and she kind of went off on me, but I shook it out, I was thirteen once." She informed them, shrugging and returned to slicing. Gaby nodded and made her way to the bunks, Shay hot on her heels.

She didn't hesitate when she made it to her room, didn't even stop moving. Gaby reached for the handle and pushed it open with her shoulder. But they were both faced with the empty room. "Huh…" Gaby grunted, her body deflating into itself.

"My room" Shay said, jabbing her hand at the air and turning to walk to her room. She took a little more precaution with her room, slowing to a stop and turning the handle quietly, thankful that the door didn't squeak. Emily was bundled in her covers; Basil picked her head up and peered around her bed-mate at the two women. Gaby chuckled and whispered 'sorry' to Shay, who shrugged it off.

Gaby moved forward with a huff, seemingly ready to yank the covers off the tiny girl and shake her awake to finish what they'd started. But Shay didn't give her the chance. She grabbed her arm and pulled her back, moving around the bed in front of Basil.

"Come on babe" she whispered, assisting the wolf off of the bed and taking her spot. She sat, propped up by a few pillows, her hips by Emily's head, and placed a hand on the girl's forehead. She raked her fingers in her thick tresses until she opened those special eyes of hers. "Hey monkey, how are you?" a look of fright flashed across Emily's face, but was calmed after catching Shay's bright green eyes and sinking back into the bed.

Gaby cleared her throat behind Emily and Shay watched her face, fear flashed in her eyes, she shrunk further into the bed. Shay watched with dismay, wondering to herself when this all happened, when it started, how it happened, how she missed it. She reverted her eyes to study Gaby, who was staring at Emily with a sad smile. She caught Shay's eyes and nodded once. Shay looked back down at Emily and supped her cheek with her hand.

"You're alright monkey, I promise" she dipped to kiss Emily's forehead and pulled herself out of the bed, and passed Gaby on her way out. When she was gone, Gaby moved herself to the other side of the bed and propped herself on the bed. Without looking at Emily, she turned on her side, propped herself up on her left elbow.

"Hi monkey" She said, beginning to comb her fingers though the girl's hair. She started at her hairline, on her forehead then raking them back, savoring the fell of her sister's silky hair. Forgetting, Emily shrank back contently, closed her eyes, and snuggled into Gaby.

"I didn't mean to say all of that"

"Mmmm?" she replied

"I didn't mean to tell you about dance or gymnastics. I didn't want to tell you…" she said, trailing cautiously. She could feel Gaby take a big breath.

"Oh?"

"I don't regret the rest of it. I know it isn't what you want to hear but…yeah…" she told her sister, trailing again.

"Look at me monkey" slowly, cautiously, she let her eyes crack open to peer at her sister's dark chocolate eyes. They sat there for a minute, staring into each other's eyes. Gaby sighed and started to talk.

"Did I ever tell you how much I love your eyes?"

"Yeah…you have… a lot"

"You're just a walking, talking, whatever else you are, medical mystery the baffles everyone." Emily giggled and bowed her head to butt Gaby's chest. Gaby laughed at her child-like attitude and kissed the top of her head

"How do you do that? How did you manage to take all the cool stuff ah? How? How did you pop out with your left eye bright green like Shay's, and your right one cobalt blue like the wolf" Gaby asked playfully, throwing her thumb over her shoulder in the direction of Emily's dog who perked her head up and looked around at the notion of a wolf. Emily giggled again. Her laughter faded and the room went silent.

"I am sorry for yelling though" she told the older woman, breaking her from her thoughts. Gaby looked down at Emily for a quick, sad second, and resumed her combing. She shook her head

"Don't apologize; I was yelling at you, you were just being defensive. Anyone would be. But I get it, y'know? I was a teenager, I yelled, still do, I did a lot. I wasn't always the happiest kid, I got picked on too. I get it, I do, I just, and I can't help if you don't talk. I don't even need you to talk to me, just… just someone." Emily nodded, absorbing the information. "Why- Why didn't you want me to know?" Emily took a deep breath, pondering her response.

"It's mine. You gave up on me doing it all… once I got out of the wheelchair, I didn't want to embarrass myself in front of anyone. I didn't want anyone to think I was weak because I couldn't return to what I was doing. I was taking privates, I just, I didn't want to embarrass or disappoint. I know now that that isn't how you would view it but, I don't know. I wanted to show it to you like super specially like, telling you the day before I went on 'Got Talent' or something. I don't really know" she explained, rushing through some of it. Gaby nodded, taking it all in, the honesty, the rawness and openness of it.

"I am sorry, there's just… so much going on. You live with me, and Antonio doesn't help much anymore except child-support, but I get it, his job is important, you can't go with him to his, and he does a lot of the undercover stuff. I get it, I do." A tear dropped down Emily's cheek, leaving a white streak in its place. "Don't cry monkey, please. You know what? I want to go with you one day; I want to see what you can do. Let me know when and Shay and I can re-route all of our calls for the afternoon and come watch."

"I would rather you didn't actually…" Emily said hesitantly, immediately regretting it. Gaby stopped again with her fingers and moved her hand to Emily's chin to pull it up with her index finger. When she could efficiently look the girl in the eyes, she asked her,

"Why? What else aren't you telling me?"

"A lot. But, my teacher, she isn't… you wouldn't like her. She's mean, harsh, really, really tough. She isn't very traditional. She sort of… breaks you through the process of learning."

"I can take it, and obviously so can you" Her sister told her, placing their foreheads and giggling with the almost-thirteen-year-old. Their Laughter faded when there was a sharp knock at the door. Shay's blonde head appeared, staring at them with big, bright green eyes.

"Y'all good?" Emily looked to Gaby for reassurance that they were and nodded.

"Come one monkey" Gaby said, rolling off the bed and scaring Basil into a standing position. She immediately took her place next to Emily, who reached out to grasp the familiar scruff of fur on her neck. They followed the two EMTs out of Shay's bunk and towards the common room. Emily nodded lightly at every guy who gave her that worried expression. As she passed the doorframe, she caught Chief's eyes and gave a warm, but distant smile and lingered there. He nodded and she continued forward, sitting at the stainless steel bar top in the kitchen.

She jumped when Peter appeared in front of her, elbows on the table, looking at her excitedly, he began to talk,

"How 'bout that grilled cheese?" he asked playfully, placing his chin in his hands and giving her a goofy look that made her laugh.

"Cherry cola too please!" he let out a sharp chuckle and released his chin to let it fall to his chest in amusement. He looked back up to the large grin on Emily's face, ho immediately began to laugh.

It died down as he strode to the stove to restart her late, mid-afternoon snack. She felt happy on the outside, she really did… _on the outside. _But the inside was a different story, she still felt like there was a piece missing, like there was something she couldn't pinpoint. She couldn't push it aside, and she hadn't noticed Shay watching her as she lost her gaze once again.

Lost it… to the knife-block.

**Hope you liked it. I just wanted to know, can you review with the answer to this question?**

**-Do we know how old Gabriela and Shay are?**

**Others**

**-like it? -critiques? -suggestions? -predictions? -requests?**


	3. Crash

**So… I updated the wrong one….ummm….this is the correct chapter 3…sorry.**

**So I think I like the way this story is turning out. I feel like I'm failing at ending it on cliff-hangers, but oh well, I'm gonna keep trying. Thank you all so much for reviewing, it means a lot, I'm going to start like, answering the reviews, so look out for that. If you become a regular reviewer, as in another story I'm doing, I will start to point you out specifically in author's notes, and I even like to contact those people for advice. I may eventually need a beta, but keep reviewing. Thanks a lot.**

**Pricklyrose24-**** thank you so much for the review, I appreciate it, and I will do my best not to disappoint**

**Benjaminek-**** thank you for reviewing and for the lovely compliments**

**B.o.B Rules-**** Thank you, and I do too, she's been sort of a muse of mine, I'm going to incorporate her into more stories.**

_It died down as he strode to the stove to restart her late, mid-afternoon snack. She felt happy on the outside, she really did… on the outside. But the inside was a different story, she still felt like there was a piece missing, like there was something she couldn't pinpoint. She couldn't push it aside, and she hadn't noticed Shay watching her as she lost her gaze once again._

_Lost it… to the knife-block._

Tonight was supposed to be a 24 hour, all night shift. Lots of times, on nights like these, Emily stayed either home, with Antonio, or with a friend she'd managed to make. Tonight, she'd stay at the firehouse due to the day's events. If she was asleep, she would stay asleep hopefully, and not get woken too badly by the alarm, and if she woke up or was awake, she'd have to get her ass moving to hurry up and go with them. In the meanwhile, she typed away on her laptop to finish a report assigned two days ago that was due at the end of the semester, in a month and a half. She was always diligent about on schoolwork, things, everything, came so easily to her, she probably didn't even need to be in school.

Basil was belly-up the floor, tongue lolling out, dreaming peacefully beside the young girl. It was nice to see the sweet side of her, a lot of the time, she was lurking protectively beside her communicative owner, barring her teeth and growling, but never once made a move. What neither Basil, nor Emily knew was that Shay snuck frequent, long-lasting glances at them. Emily wasn't aware that Shay had caught her staring at one of the most dangerous parts of the kitchen.

Just then, a smile spread ear-to-ear across Emily's face, and she clicked a final button and sat back with a sigh. "All done?" a voice asked, startling her. It was Kelly, who'd come up behind her to drape his arms over the back of her chair and rest them on her tummy. She placed her hands on his and before you knew it, he was tickling her and she was squealing in delight, catching everyone's undivided, goofy-grinned attention. Gaby glanced her way smiled, but her eyes gave off a hint of sadness, knowing some of the truth behind the girl's happiness. Shay slopped her hand over the back of the couch and twisted her body to face the more open part of the room behind her.

"You know Em, I was a dancer, what all exactly can you do?" Emily stopped, so did everyone else. Some of the pink in her cheeks drained and she just stared. She pondered her answer in obvious ways.

"Lots" she answered, being vague.

"What style?"

"From lyrical to acro to contemporary to ballet to hip-hop, I do it all. Even aerial sometimes." Shay just stared, damn.

"Whoa, are you good?"

"That's a terrible question to ask."

"No it isn't!"

"Whatever." This wasn't going anywhere, Shay had hoped to get her to open up a little, since the revelation not too long ago, she wanted to make Emily feel like she could talk about it now, like no one was mad at her for not telling or letting on, but she just wasn't.

"On the days you don't go, I could help you stretch; with help you could enhance your flexibility."

"Thanks Shay, but I'm alright, I'm already one of the most flexible, but I do sincerely appreciate the offer" goddamn she was being difficult.

"Look monkey, just trying to make conversation."

"Well, sorry to rain on your parade, but this isn't the conversation I want to be having right now." Whoa.

"Look Em, drop the attitude alright, I'm being friendly, it isn't like I'm ambushing you" Emily deflated and sighed, but didn't apologize, she just… walked away. Tears pooled in her eyes, why was she being this way? When was she ever a bitch to Shay? She felt sorry, but the kids at school said it was an act of weakness and surrender if you apologized, and she already had too much today. _Crap_, she thought, _the laptop… oh well._ Wandering aimlessly, she didn't really think about where she was going, and she only realized Basil wasn't by her side when the wolf trotted up beside her and nudged her hand with a wet-nose.

She turned into a doorway and found herself staring at the chief.

"Oh, sorry chief, I wasn't really paying attention, sorry to bother you." She said quickly, turning. Her back was to him, about to leave

"When have you ever been a bother? Come on, siddown, we haven't talked in a long time." He said encouragingly. She could hear the smile in his voice, and she turned and sat on his couch. "How ya' been doin'? Good?"

She nodded, "Yes sir, I mean, school's been a little rough, but I'm managing it." she told him.

"I heard, what's that all about? Hmm? Come on, talk to chief Boden." He said playfully and she smiled and giggled.

"It's just bullies being bullies and going after the obvious prey is all, I can handle it"

"Oh I don't doubt that" he said quickly, "What kind of bullies? What kind of bullying?"

"Well, I mean, the usual stuff, they talk and whisper and sneer and shove me around" she told him in her tiny voice. She watched as he pursed his lips and bowed his head, clearly pained by the truthfulness of her words.

"I see now, how bad are they 'shoving you around'? Is it bad? Are they hurting you? Because you know that's not alright." He told her, trying to control the severity to his voice.

"It isn't too bad, the usual stuff though, pushed into lockers, to the ground. A bruise here and there, but isn't much worse than that." She lied hesitantly. He nodded, looking slightly angry; he'd locked his jaw and was now grinding his teeth.

"Not _much _worse? What about today? Did you get in an actual fight?"

"No, I hit her, and she started to beat me up, but they said what I did didn't do much. I didn't actually hit her very hard, but I reacted quickly, I _established _that I wasn't scared anymore to do something to protect me and my family. I just let everyone know what I could and might start to do. I'm tired of running to teachers because its high school and it doesn't work like that, and because I get called a 'snitch' and 'tattle-tale' and no one likes me. But they suspended her for three days because she actually tried to fight. The teacher saw it and let them know that her statement was 'rude and uncalled for and I didn't fight back after that'. She told the office that I 'went limp essentially, and didn't put myself in the position to get into any further trouble'."

This is what he liked about her; once you got her to open up, she told you the truth, and nothing but the truth, and she did so openly, with minimal hesitation. He nodded and smiled, "What?" she asked.

"You're so truthful; it's a very noble quality." He said, "Let me ask you something." She nodded.

"Did you let anyone check you out? Make sure you're okay? Your sister, Shay? Maybe even the nurse?" she froze, she hadn't really thought about it. She didn't answer right away, which answered his question, but he let her think. She didn't, because she didn't want anyone to see the other bruises or the scrapes or the cuts she had from every other silent beating. She shook her head and looked down, tears welling in her eyes once again.

He nodded, head down again, looking like he was trying to figure out his next question. He looked up and smiled, "Well, you can let me know in the future if there's a problem and I can discuss it with your sister and the school. Now skedaddle, go pounce on Mills or something." She smiled and stood to leave. But she turned and ran to him, wrapping her small arms around his neck. He was shocked at first, but he accepted the hug and returned the hug with his arms around her waist squeezing her tightly. She broke the hug and smiled a shy smile before leaving.

In the hallway on her way back, the alarm sounded, "Engine 51, Truck 81, Squad 3, Ambulance 61…" she wasn't interested in the rest of the words, they didn't register with her, she began to walk briskly down the hall and screamed when she was pulled up. In someone's arms, they spun her to hold on better.

"Gotta go monkey" Kelly said, rushing down the hall with her. She wrapped her arms around his thick neck and relaxed slightly. He exited the common room and dropped her in the Squad truck before pulling on his gear. He got in next to her and because she wanted to, she climbed on his lap and curled into him. She saw her sister rush by with a bit of a panicked expression and when she spotted Emily in the truck, the expression didn't change. Something had to be wrong. The ride was loud and it made her anxious, it was one of the things she had trouble handling when she had to go on just about EVERY call they got. She gripped Kelly's shirt. When he knew they'd neared the sight, he held her tighter, he knew she'd see the scene eventually but her reaction was always hard to gauge. They were headed to a crash sight. She wasn't freaking out yet, her breathing was normal enough, but it was always slightly labored day. He didn't know, but he knew that reaction could be bad.

They pulled up. One car was upright, but in bad condition, it might not be hard to deal with that one. The other was hanging upside down, hallway over a bridge that led to a tunnel below. It wasn't rocking or swaying too bad, but if the people were unconscious and woke up soon, he knew it'd be game over. _Oh shit, _was all he could think about, this was going to be bad. He began to murmur in her ear.

"I need you to stay calm, I know it's hard, I know it always is, but like a lot of them, we need you to stay calm, I would tell you not to look, not to watch, but it wouldn't do anything, so I'm just warning you alright?" he felt her tense, he knew she was frozen, and he knew it would be bad.

"It's a crash…" she trailed, not really asking as much as she was stating the fact. He nodded into her hair and kissed the top of her head. The truck came to a sudden halt and then it was World War III, there was suddenly all this movement and yelling. Kelly deposited her on the seat, and told her to stay put. Basil was already whining, but when she moved to get out of the truck, she whined harder, louder, and even began to growl. The way Emily held her scruff of fur made the both of them feel better. It helped Emily stay calm; it helped to balance her, and it made Basil feel as though she had control.

_Please, Emily, stay put!_

"I can't" she replied out loud. "I know just as well as you that I should, but we both know I can't!"

_Then pick a spot and sit down, you're starting to shake, I can hear your breathing, you're beginning to worry me. Take your medicine now, try to reduce what we both know could happen, please listen to me. None of the fighters can pay attention to you right now, please. _

Emily nodded and sat next to her sister's ambulance. She drew a needle from the bag she carried and a wrapped alcohol swatch and pulled up the hem of her shirt. She wiped a place on her hip and caught her sister's glance just before she stuck herself. She paused, Gaby nodded and Emily looked down to continue. The needle pierced her skin painlessly, she'd had almost eight years to get used to it. She recapped the syringe and placed it in a special _Biohazard Bag_ inside her own; she placed the alcohol swatch in it too.

She drew her knees to her chest and placed her head on their tops, Basil stood in front of her, her size would block the girl's view if she were to look up.

_Deep breaths Emily. _She told her owner, but she got nothing. _Emily? Emily? Emily, NO! No! Emily, listen to me, come back Emily!_

"_I don't want to be in this stupid chair anymore! I want to move myself around!" she yelled, angry tears spilling over her scraped cheeks. "NO! I want to do it! I don't need your help! STOP! I can do it!" she continued to scream at her sister, then her brother, who couldn't get it through their heads that Emily wanted to roll herself and not be pushed around like she was still in a crib. Tears poured down her face in buckets, tears also rained down Gaby's cheeks and she pulled away, backing up. _

_Antonio followed her, not to get away from his baby sister, but to pull his other one into his arms to comfort her. She wasn't supposed to be the strong one, he was. He was not only the brother, but the oldest. It was his job now to take care of them, but he knew that wouldn't come without a fight. _

"_Shhh m'hija, it's ok, she's just mad and angry and she's always been independent, it's okay m'hija. Estas bien, chica." He cooed to his sister, Gabriela. He ducked back down in front of Emily, the water cascading like waterfalls from her eyes still._

"_Hola mona. Calmarse, calm down, Mona. We are only trying to help."_

"_I don't want your help, I want to do it myself!" she whimpered, her voice high and cracked from the tears lodged in her throat. _

"_Escuchar, listen to me, if you don't let us help, you won't get better so quickly, you'll be here for a longer time, and you won't get out so soon. Mona please, calma" her tears slowed, her breathing evened, and her whimpers softened. She nodded and leaned forward with great effort, finally wrapping her arms around her big brother's neck. "Todo va estar bien. Everything's going to be alright." His Spanish always soothed her. He pulled out of the hug and smiled, flashing his teeth, brilliantly white. He leaned forward and placed a sweet kiss on her forehead. He stood and motioned for their sister to come over and join in. _

_Her shoes clicked as she made her way slowly over to them. Antonio stepped back, allowing her the space to access their baby sister. She knelt down in front of the tiny child, looked her in the eyes and smiled. The smile was genuine, warm, and inviting. She leaned forward and drew the girl into her arms, the strong arms she vowed she'd do nothing but protect with those arms. Emily breathed deeply, taking in her sister's scent, promising herself she'd never forget it. _

_That was the day that Gabriela Dawson decided definitely that she'd become a Paramedic._

_EMILY! Come back!_ It was faint in her head, the voice, she didn't know where she was, but she could smell the burnt rubber, and the hot metal. She was at the crash site they'd left for. She was being laid down from her previous upright position. Then she was being turned on the ground…no, flipped, someone was flipping her over.

"Emily! Emily! Open your eyes hon, come on, open your eyes!" two fingers pressed to her neck alerted her that someone was checking for a pulse. Then there was a weight on her chest, checking for a heartbeat. She desperately wanted to open her eyes, and she tried desperately. Then, miraculously, they opened, slowly, only cracked open, but open nonetheless.

Peter's face was blurry, but his relief was apparent, "Oh thank god" he said, pushing his hands under her knees and shoulder blades. He pulled her up and then twisted her so she clasped her arms behind his neck and crossed her ankles behind his back. He held onto her tightly and carried her to the truck. Basil barked madly behind him and jumped immediately right up next to her in the truck. Shay appeared out of nowhere.

"Look, I know you're certified, but let me take care of her, can you go help Dawson?" he nodded and left them. Shay didn't say anything, just grabbed the stethoscope out of her bag and placed it in her ears and the scope on Emily's chest. She didn't need to listen to know that she wasn't doing well. She hastily unzipped the girl's jacket and pressed the scope once again to her chest-it sputtered, didn't sound completely normal, but that _was _the normal for Emily.

"You alright?" she asked, shining her pen-light in Emily's eyes.

Emily managed to shake her head before everything went dark.

**So, I hope this was alright. Let me know what you think. Let me know what you might want to happen. Review, alert, favorite, follow. Press those buttons. Be on the lookout for the next update!**

**Thanks a bunch! Love you all!**

**Translations:**

_**M'hija**_**- **my girl

_**Esta bien**_**- **it's okay

_**Hola mona, Calmarse**_-Hi monkey, calm down

**Everything else isn't necessarily self-explanatory, but when a lot of Latino/as talk like that, they repeat what they say in in Spanish, in English. I'm either going to do that, or give you the translations, so when I don't give you the translation, then it's been repeated in the dialogue.**


	4. We're okay

**THIS IS SUPER IMPORTANT: I LOADED THE WRONG CHAPTER 3, SO THIS ONE ISN'T GOING TO MAKE SENSE UNLESS YOU GO BACK AND REREAD CHAPTER 3. SORRY!**

**Thanks to everyone for reviewing, I'm going to start putting in responses to the reviews, yeah, so, let me know what you think, I feel like I rushed this one, so please tell me what your thoughts are. Thanks! Love y'all bunches!**

**Lilkcb06-**** I'm glad you like it, I will keep writing**

**Kaila-**** Thanks for reviewing, and I'm glad you like it**

**Rachel-**** Thank you so much for your awesome words, they make my day, I struggle letting people see my work, so I'm glad to find people like it.**

**Mandi-**** like, the best review so far, hope you keep reading**

**Guest-**** though I don't really know what that means, I'm happy you let me know what you thought and are trying to help me revise my writing. I will try to tone down the medical stuff and move more into her life and her relationships, something I tried to do in this chapter. Though those specialties are what make most of the story, I'll get into the other kind of special, not the medical. Though I don't know who you are, or if you'll review again, I hope you do and let me know how you think this chapter went. Thanks bunches!**

**Lora K-**** I'm glad you like it, it makes me happy to know I can please people with my writing. I will continue to update once a week maybe so keep your eyes peeled!**

_"You alright?" she asked, shining her pen-light in Emily's eyes._

_Emily managed to shake her head before everything went dark._

Waking up wasn't nearly as traumatizing as she thought it would be. So was in her home, in her room, in her bed. Her head ached, her joints hurt, and her stomach churned. The smell of garlic made her gag and all she wanted was to be able to get up and run to the bathroom to relieve the feeling. However, Emily Dawson knew better than anyone that that wasn't a good move.

She looked to the right to see Basil, sitting on the floor, with just her head resting on the mattress, eyes boring into Emily as she sleep. But as soon as the dog saw the movement, she couldn't contain herself and jumped on the bed to greet her owner and welcome her back to the world. The welcoming didn't last long though; she began to whine when the girl didn't respond.

_Should I go get someone?_ She projected at Emily.

"Yeah, Bas (Baze), you should" she rasped through her scratchy throat. The wolf trotted across the room and out the door, having to nose it open with her snout. There was nothing left to do but stare at the ceiling. So stare at the ceiling she did, watching the blades of the fan chase each other around in a never-ending circle, knowing they would never catch each other. The removable wall decals they put on the ceiling were peeling, the adhesive collected around the edges like tape on a desk, making it an unattractive sight. She made a mental note to remove them and then replace them with something more eye-catching. The door suddenly opened and in walked Antonio.

"M'hija, hola, hi. How are you?" she stared into his eyes for a moment before sitting up and capturing his toned frame in a hug. His shock took a moment to overcome, but he eventually closed his arms around her and squeezed her tightly "Mi amor, I love you too." He whispered into her hair.

She pulled away and took in his features. His brows were slightly drawn, there always were, his brown eyes showed relief, his jawline, chiseled and covered in dark and light gray stubble. "Je t'aime" she replied in French, smiling genuinely. She tossed the covers off of her legs and swung them over the side of the bed to stand.

He reacted quickly, jumping to the floor and running to stand by her left side. He placed his right arm around her waist, holding onto her hip with that hand to keep her steady. She took his left hand in hers to allow him to assist her to the kitchen. He lifted her onto a barstool and went to grab a water bottle from the fridge.

She sipped generously and waited a moment before speaking, "How long was I out?" she asked hesitantly.

His brows knit and he let out an exasperated sigh, "Almost 3"

"Yeesh"

"What happened?"

"…flashback…" she told him and the room settled in silence.

"Do those still happen often?"

"I'm not doing this" she replied hastily, dropping to the floor and striding to the living room, disappearing from his sight to sit on the couch in the living room. She heard a sizzle as he stirred the contents of the pan on the stove. She watched him go wide around the breakfast bar, a glass of white wine in one hand.

He sat next to her on the couch and stared ahead at the television, not doing anything. Emily gave in and snuck a quick glance at him before giving in and crawling over to him, tucking herself under his arm and into his side. She heard him chuckle and felt his lips on her head.

"When did she leave?"

"'Bout a half hour ago, chief said he forgot to reroute for tonight and that he'd do that when they got back."

"…wait… they?" she questioned him nervously.

"Yeah, they've all been real worried about you mona. It was chief, Hermann, Mills, Kelly, Cruz, Otis, and Shay. Casey wanted to be here, but he and Hallie, he was here the past two nights so…"

She nodded into his chest and settled in. Santana just smacked Quinn and Quinn smacked Santana and then boom, commercial. They sat there and watched the pesty things and waited for the arrival of family number dos.

The door swung open with a thud, and then the sound of coats being shrugged off and not hung up-she'd have to vacuum that later. The sound of boots being thrown off alerted her to the fact that she'd have to use the 'Mr. Clean Magic Eraser' on that wall also. "Antonio?!" she heard her sister yell. It was all Emily needed to motivate her to sprint for the front door.

"Incoming!" he yelled back at her.

"Wha…?" she rounded the corner just then.

"Emily! Ooof!" Gaby's face lit up and she let out a laugh as Emily nearly slipped on the hardwood. Gabriela had just enough time to straighten before Emily threw herself at her big sister. She lifted Emily from the ground, holding her tight and relishing the feel of the tiny body in her arms.

"Oh Em. Baby girl." She breathed into Emily's hair. Gaby stroked her sister's face, tucking a loose lock of hair behind her ear and smiled warmly at her. They laughed and hugged again before Emily made her rounds with the rest of the crew, laughing, being thrown in the air, and hugging some more.

They sat in the kitchen, the living room, and some in the dining room. Mills took over the cooking and Emily sat snuggled into Gaby like she had been Antonio. Shay held her right hand where it settled on the young girl's hip. They rode out the rest of the 'Glee' episode and switched to a demand channel to watch 'Modern Family'.

"I want you to go to bed soon k?" Gaby said, squeezing her sister to her side as she said it.

"But I just got up" Emily stated factually. Shay snickered behind her and mumbled something inaudible under her breath.

"You know you're tired so don't fight it. I won't have you up all night because you know Sundays are busy." Emily sighed and placed her head back on Gaby's chest, returning the squeeze she got from Shay's hand.

When the episode ended, Shay squeezed her hand and stood up, "Come on, I'll put you to bed" she told her, stretching in the process. "Come on" she stressed, waving her hand in the direction of the girl's bedroom.

Gaby kissed the top of her head, "Te amo" she whispered, and Emily stared. When was the last time she spoke Spanish? Certainly not for a few years. She went around and let Antonio kiss her cheek.

'G'night!" everyone yelled at her, receiving glares from her older sister. Emily smiled at the floor, waved them off and allowed Shay to take her hand and lead her to slumber. Shay sent her to the bathroom to wash up and closed the door to the room. She picked out clothes for her step-in sister and cracked the door to pass them to her. She laid back against the bed and stared at the ceiling, noting the same thing Emily had earlier when she woke up.

"Hey Em!" she yelled.

"Yeah?" Emily replied.

"We need to do something about your ceiling! You need new decals?"

"Christmas!"

"Too far!"

"Nuh-uh!"

"Yeah-huh!"

"Whatever" replied the almost-teenager, pulling the door open and tossing her clothes into the hamper. She lay next to Shay on the bed and stared at the peeling stickers.

"Can I ask you something?" the older woman asked.

"Is that a question, or are you going to ask anyway?"

"Why did you get so defensive about dancing?" Shay asked her hesitantly, almost regretting the words after she spoke them.

Emily didn't reply immediately. Instead, she pondered her answer, "Because… I don't know" she sighed and turned on her side to look at Shay, "You wouldn't have known if I hadn't gotten mad. You would have never gone deep enough to figure out that I did all these things. I got mad. It was mine, it _is_ mine. It's just…like I said… you would have never found out…" a tear trailed from her eye, leaving a glistening streak.

"That's true but, I was only offering monkey, I want going to take it away. It will always be yours, no matter what. I wanted to help you keep it, help you get better. You need to know that, now that you've put it out in the open, and everybody knows and you don't have to hide it anymore, you can talk about it. You don't have to hid it." she added.

"So… I couldn't talk about it before?" she asked, immediately squeezing her eyes shut and regretting her words.

"That isn't what I'm saying and you know that" Shay reprimanded sharply. _I deserve_ _that_, she thought. "You could have if you trusted us, if you felt like you could tell us. And you could, you need to know that. You could have and still can tell me or any one of the guys anything, you just choose not to. You have the right to your secrets, secrets are healthy. But not all secrets. Some of the secrets you kept, that you're still keeping, are not good secrets, they're not healthy. But it's your choice to keep them. You're just too damn good at it." Emily smiled at the last part and opened her mouth to talk, but closed it, not knowing whether she wanted to tell her that. She opened her eyes and peered into Shay's, letting another tear streak its way down her cheek.

"What? Hm? What is it monkey? What's wrong?" Shay asked sincerely, searching Emily's eyes for an answer.

She tried again, "There's…there's a competition…next weekend… a week from today…you guys… you guys can come if you want…" she paused, looking back up at Shay from when she tore her eyes away, "I…I _want_ you guys to come… if you want…" She finished, still speaking slowly. Shay nodded, bent to kiss her forehead and let her lips linger there.

"'night monkey," she told her, standing and pulling the cover's to Emily's chin. Emily let out a heavy sigh and held the covers up for basil to crawl under. Shay opened the door, "See you tomorrow" she turned out the lights.

The door was almost closed; "Love you" Emily called

"Love you too monkey" Shay responded, pulling the door the rest of the way closed.

Back in the living room, Shay dropped next to Kelly on the loveseat and leaned halfway into his body, still sitting mostly straight. She took the time to stare off into space, unaware that people would notice.

"Shay? Shay, you alright?" Shay snapped from her trance to stare into Gaby's big brown eyes.

"What?" she responded absentmindedly.

"Are you okay?" Gaby repeated, looking concerned.

"She talked about dance…" the sentenced trailed.

"Oh?" Gaby looked intrigued, leaning forward and resting her elbows on her knees, her head in her fists.

"She said…she said she has a competition Saturday…next Saturday. That…that we could come…you know, if we wanted to."

"Oh" Gaby replied, flopping back into the couch and taking another sip of beer.

"we should go" Peter Mills added. Silence overcame them, the awkwardness filling the room.

"Alright" Gaby declared, patting her knees and bringing herself to a standing position, "We have a 24 tomorrow, how 'bout we all go home for a good sleep" she suggested, walking to the kitchen to place her bottle in the recycling bin.

The guys took the hint and began the long process of figuring whose jacket was whose and which size boots they wore and where they were. Kelly and chief were the last ones there; Kelly grabbed Shay's arm, "You staying here?" he asked. Shay nodded and he kissed her cheek before nodding at Gaby and stepping out.

The chief was last to leave of the fighters. Before heading out the door, he turned to Antonio and Gaby, "You need anything, you call" he told them, pointing between the pair of Latinos. Antonio nodded and shook his hand, closing the door behind him and turned to face Gaby.

"I should get going" he said. Gaby nodded while he grabbed his coat. Before he left, he took one more long look at her; her eyes had bags, her body language screamed exhausted, she stared at the floor with her shoulders raised and her gaze to the floor-she looked ready to collapse. Antonio stepped forward and pulled her into a hug, wrapping his arms securely around her shoulders and turning his head to press his lips against her hair. Gaby leaned into the hug, pressing her lips against his shoulder.

He pulled away and looked her in the eyes, "See you soon Hermana, love you. You need anything, you let me know alright?" she nodded and held the door for him, shivering once at the cold.

"Love you too Antonio" she waved and shut the door, taking the opportunity to lean her back against it and let out a big sigh. She pushed herself off the door and took slow, shaky strides into her room, placed the back on her knees against the edge of the bed, and allowed herself to fall back. Her back hit the mattress and she let out a puff of air, she too stared at the ceiling. The mattress shifted, alerting Gaby of Shay's presence next to her on the bed. Turning on her side, she looked at Shay, who coked her head to the side to try and read her best friend's emotions.

"What is it?" Gaby shook her head, but stopped to let a single tear fall down her cheek. "Yes, there's something, tell me" Shay pressed.

Gaby took in a breath of air, "It has been a very long, very stressful few days." She told Shay, letting out another large sigh.

"Preach honey, preach" Gaby looked at her. The look said "You're insane, what's wrong with you? Do I know you? Are you possessed?" they'd both held their serious faces for too long. Collapsing into a fit of giggles, troubles melted away for a few seconds, only to reappear in the silence following their few blissful seconds.

Back in Emily's room, she had trouble getting to sleep for the first few minutes, but it came easily after a revelation that gave her a new hope-there had been no flashback today.

**So I hope you guys liked it. Once again, GO REREAD THREE BECAUSE I HAD PREVIOUSLY UPLOADED TE WRONG ONE! IMSOSORRY!**

Please review, please like, and spread the word. We need more Chicago Fire stories because there are like…none. Thanks bunches. Love y'all!

M'hija- my girl

Hola- hi

Mi amor- my love

Je t'aime-__ I love you—the only French line

Te amo- I love you

Mona- monkey


	5. Seth

**I'm so sorry. That's my only excuse…I'm not gonna flood you with comments, just a few comments:**

**This was a little hard**

**The chapters may get a little longer**

**They will probably be more spaced out time wise, don't expect once a week, I will do my best for every other week, we have to see. **

**The next one may take a little longer because I desperately have to update my other two stories…really bady.**

**Did you re-read chapter 3?**

**I need a beta-anyone want to help?**

**UrbanBorn-****Thanks so much, here is everyone's update. **

**Thanks to everyone who favorite me and my story and thanks to everyone who followed and all else**

**There is a bit of crossover in here, this is because I love dance moms and I envision Emily being her favorite…sorta in front of maddie… and all. I won't classify it as a crossover because there is no Dance Moms fanfiction.**

**I own my characters, the 3 or 4 or 5 so far, and I own the crossover idea. I own nothing else.**

The sun beaming through the window lit up the thin skin of her eyelids. Groaning, she turned on her side to face the closet but to face away from the bright window, the amount of light that filled the room didn't go away and it still woke her up, diligently interrupting her sleep. It also didn't get any darker when Shay burst through the door, turning on the unneeded light on the fan while also letting in all the light from the hallway behind her. Needless to say, it wasn't to be escaped and the room would only continue to get brighter. Shay knew how sensitive she was to light, especially in the morning, and was doing her best (and succeeding) to force her awake by driving her away from it.

"Get up! It's 8:30! Ain't got much time, monkey!" she yelled, earning another groan from the near-teenagers on the bed. Emily pushed her hands against the headboard as leverage to stretch out, the amount of light still making it difficult for her to open her eyes. Once she managed, she saw Shay rummaging through the closet and when she emerged, the handful she'd gotten was promptly launched at Emily. Emily propped up on her elbows and rubbed at her eyes. Shay watched, right hip popped, right hand grasping said hip, and her left arm across the bottom of her stomach to grasp at her right wrist.

"Get dressed" she commanded again, studying Emily with a weary last glance before shutting the door behind her. But Emily didn't move, instead, she tried to filter through the morning's thoughts and wade through the bath of light. But it didn't work. Soon, she was beginning to succumb to the tight feeling of sadness in her chest, she began to lose her thoughts as she tried to reach out and keep them together. It was no use, they melded and formed in the air in front of her, their colors colliding and forming a picture. She was suddenly drowning from the light and silently screaming for help from within her. The last sound was the whining of the dog that…

… _Turned into the screech of her metal shade-holders as her mother pulled them apart and allowed the room to be covered in a warm, yellow glow. Little Emily opened her eyes, having already adjusted, and smiled brightly, her colored eyes popping open, reflecting the light in a gorgeous sea of blues and greens. Her mother turned around, grinning widely at her daughter, who she knew with a full sense of certainty would have already been awake. The mother found herself hoping and praying that the tiny, tan girl would get at least a little nap on the two and a half hour car ride to the recital._

_Emily tossed the covers off of her legs, clad only in her small-sized, pale pink ballet tights. Her mumma moved forward, shoulders hunched, elbows tucked at her sides, fingers tense for the impending tickle-attack to tire a little monkey for the ride. Emily stood to ready herself, parting her feet and bending her knees to hide her stomach from the 'tickle-monster'. They were both ready for the battle creeping up on the both of them._

"_M'hija! Mi luz, mi alegría, mi estrella, mono, mi amor!" she cried as she blurred into action, pressing her fingers into her baby-monkey's sides and ribs. She tickled her furiously, leaning in to pepper the girl's flushed cheeks, red nose, and squealing lips with kitten-kisses._

"_Mumma! No! Ahh! Stop! Basta! Por favor! Mi mama! Me duele, it hurts!" she cried, squealing the Spanglish she'd been taught by her brother, sister, and papi._

_They settled back into the bed together, Emily tucked into her mumma's side, panting heavily against the thin material of her leotard. She looked up into the chocolate eyes of her mother and smiled happily, shyly, as she butted her head back into the older Dawson's ribs. Mumma encased her daughter in a hug, planting a large kiss on the top of her little, honey-blonde head._

_The smell of scratch-made pancakes and warm maple syrup finally drifted down the hallways and wafted to her nostrils. She began to scramble out of bed, hungry for the fuel to the fire that would be Emily Dawson on that stage this afternoon. She was stopped, promptly by her mother, who held her back and to her chest. She stared up at the woman, confusion flashing in her eyes, questions at the ready for spit-fire on the tip of her tongue._

_She was interrupted by her papi, "Mi estrealla, my star! Estas bien?has dormido bien? Did you sleep well, mi estrella?" He called out his inquiries and terms of endearment as he entered with her birthday tray. She turned her head into her mumma once again, hiding her flushed, shy grin in the woman's side and peeked out with one eye as her father placed the tray on the bed over her stretched legs. She emerged with said smile still dawned on her face, and snatched up a pancake with little fingers before returning back to the safety of her hiding spot._

_Her papi laughed, sat, and pulled her away and onto his lap as she ate. The pancakes tasted like vanilla and chocolate chips, the juice was pulped and tart and the eggs balanced it all with the salty salsa her papi had added to them. Little Ms. Princess Emily was being pampered and spoiled before her first big on-stage solo and her parents could be more than happy to initiate the festivities and go along with them._

_She was unaware that she needed to savor this moment, not as though it was like she hadn't been doing that all along. This moment, the one she loved so much, might very well be one of the last memories she has of her parents. And now, in the present this is something she is all too aware of. _

She shook her head as she came out of the flashback and glanced at the clock, the light, blurry as it was through the tears, had only advanced ten minutes. Emily stood and pulled her shirt off, wincing as her shoulder let out a loud pop. She replaced the shirt with a crop top, which she would later have ready for its use in dance, and then over it tugged on her ALDC sweatshirt. Now that it was out that she went to dance, she wouldn't be scared of it, just like Shay had said not to be. She yanked off the sweatpants, letting out a soft, audible yelp at the movement in her hip. She replaced the pants with spanks and a pair of dark skinny jeans before finally letting the wolf into the fence yard via sliding glass door.

The bruise on her hip was only worsening as she continued to work through it, and it was all because Abby refused to pair her with Seth for this particular duet. Emily and Seth were a 'perfect match', in every sense of the phrase. They danced with precision, grace, and some sort of all-knowing power of what the other intended to do. Their 'fling' in and out of the studio, unbeknownst to the firehouse, was one only studio was in cahoots about. They hung out at school, held hands in the hallway, and during breaks and their down-time at the studio. But Abby wouldn't budge with this number, and paired her with Tyler, three levels beneath her, and unable to hold her rather-scarce weight. Abby was determined that the lifts he'd turned into 'drops' could be reversed and be lifts again. But the competition was Saturday, and if they wanted to win…

Retreating to the bathroom, she went on to apply a light layer of mascara and liquid eyeliner, dragging the end into a tail beside her eye. she spritzed the heat protectant into her hair and it was only 9:00 when she was done with the straightener. She reached for an alcohol prep pad and pulled up the un-bruised side of the sweatshirt to prep a spot for her morning medicine. Gaby, as many times as she gave her the medicine, still failed to see the outline of her chiseled abs that were normal around the studio.

Just then, Gaby stuck her head inside, "you alright? You're taking-whoa monkey" she said, stepping all the way inside and pulled the needle from her sister's hand.

She noticed something in Emily's face, "Hey, look at me" she instructed, reinforcing the statement by lifting Emily's chin with one finger to study her face. The girl's eyes were glossy and distant, "Talk to me" Gaby urged, looking worried as she continued to study.

"You look really disoriented" Gaby pointed out, searching the girl's eyes once again.

"I'm fine" Emily said, pushing around her to let Basil inside. She pulled her dance duffel from under the bed and stuffed a few final things inside before striding towards the door.

Gaby grabbed another alcohol pad from the jar and rushed after her "Hey!" she yelled, dropping to her knees to pull up the sweatshirt once again. She swabbed the hip again and stuck her before recapping the syringe and standing. Emily was just about to walk out before her sister caught her arm, pulling her back into the room.

"OW! What?" she spat

"First of all, drop the attitude. Second of all, talk to me, what's wrong? Are you okay?" she asked, urging the petite girl to talk.

"I'm fine, just like I told you. I had a flashback, chill out."

"I will not! The last time you had a flashback, you passed out and didn't wake up for three days!" the brunette retorted.

"Yeah, you know what you're right. Good thing it doesn't happen all the time or I'd be totally comatose!" she yelled back.

Gaby froze, "What?"

"Nothing" she stalked into the hallway and down into the kitchen to pull on some boots.

"Hey babe, whoa, what's with the bag? Are you running away?"

"No, Seth is picking me up for dance; his sister will drive us to the studio"

"Nah. Uh uh. I'll do it" Gaby corrected, appearing behind Emily as she shoved her heel into her boot.

Emily rolled her eyes, "already been decided..."

"Without my knowledge or consent?"

"It's been that way, Gaby, for 7 years."

"What if…"

"Seth" she interjected. Gaby sent Shay an amused look

"What if Seth, came by the house at 10 and hung out for a little while and then Shay and I can take you, then we can meet this nut-job who decided to take you on as a student"

"I'll ask"

She packed a cooler with raw meat for Basil, and added a few syringes to the ice packs. She walked out the front door to the car and settled in, holding a handful of silky snow-white fur to keep calm.

The ride was quiet and uneventful; it wasn't as if it ever was eventful but just… extra-uneventful today. Emily texted Seth the entire way to rearrange their plans: his sister would drop him at the house at ten; they'd hang, and hopefully not be late because of a call. He was pretty excited to meet everyone and get to see the house. Emily was less excited but excited nonetheless. It was already 9:30 when they got to the house and that only left 20-25 minutes for her to wait because of his impeccable punctuality.

"Aye, short stuff! What's up?" Otis asked playfully, ruffling her hair. She shrugged him off and grimaced at the nickname. She set her stuff at the table and fixed her clothes.

Casey gave her a look, but Kelly beat him to the question, "What's the duffel for? Going somewhere?" he asked, fulfilling the role of the sarcastic, protective, slightly awkward and tough big brother.

Emily threw her hands up and snapped, "Why is everyone so obsessed with the duffel?! What's the big deal?! It's a freaking duffel bag!" she yelled, sitting heavily, "it's for dance" she answered finally. They all stood stock still, watching her frustrated movements; she yanked her laptop out of the bag, but set it down with careful grace.

Casey looked up and caught Gaby's eyes with a weary, questioning glance. All she did was shrug and pour herself a cup of coffee before heading in the direction of the chief's office.

"She okay?" Casey asked the younger Dawson as she swiped her finger over the sensor to log in.

"She's going to talk to chief to make sure it's okay that Seth come and hang for like an hour before she and Shay drive us to dance. Because apparently his sister is incapable, suddenly, of doing it." She snorted and waited for the computer.

"So…" he started, "You're feeling more comfortable talking about it? About dance?"

She stopped and pondered the question, typing to go to Google as she did so, "No, but I might as well get comfortable with it."

"No one is making you"

Her head snapped to look at him, "We really doing this?" she asked bitterly, watching as he searched her eyes for a hint of what was causing the bitterness.

"We want to come Saturday" she turned to face the voice: Mills. He sat down across from Casey and looked at her, expectantly and patiently waiting.

"Who's Seth?" he pondered.

She was typing in her email and froze, wiggling her upper body in awkwardness. A whine came from beside her, _Her boyfriend! _Basil taunted.

She snapped her head to look at the dog, was about to snap but Basil only seemed to make herself bigger in challenge. Emily let out an almost inaudible growl and looked back at the computer to finish logging into her email. "He's a friend… from dance. He's usually my partner for my male/female duets, but he's just a friend" she smiled inwardly, knowing that for the two of them, it seemed like much more than that. There was an email from Abby:

_You can complain all you want, but the fact of the matter is that you will whip him into shape and __**THAT**__ is why I paired the two of you together. I __**did not**__ do it to torture you, or him or… Seth. We will work on the lifts for the most part today. I want you to be stretched when you get here. I will need your help with the girls' dances today. _

_Once again, I know you hate me, but you're doing the dance, period. _

_ ~~Abby Lee Miller_

She replied with five words:

Bite me, Abby Lee Miller.

Casey watched from her shoulder as she read and replied to the email. She pressed send and checked the time. It had already been twenty minutes? And then it hit her, that clock was like 7 minutes slow! That means he would almost be he-

"Emily" Vargas said, walking through the garage entrance of the house, "Someone here for you" he waggled his eyes and sat.

Emily couldn't help but dash towards the front of the firehouse, goofy grin adorned on her face, and right into the arms of Seth Sehorn, who spun her in a circle before placing her gingerly back on the ground and planting a kiss on her cheek. It was the biggest, most genuine, twinkly-eyed smile the men had seen on her since either A. they met her -or- B. the accident.

The clearing of throats behind her, wiped the smile from her face and she turned with a look of horror to face…the entire firehouse behind them. Her face flushed bright red and she hid in Seth's shoulder, he placed his lips, unbashedly on the top of her head and she could feel the reassuring smile he gave her.

"Guys…this is Seth…"

**So… I can't really tell you how sorry I am …life came hard and fast, and my computer died and…blah blah blah… anyway. I really hope you liked it. I feel like it was slightly rushed. **

**I'm trying to get more into her personal life a little bit. I'm going to have her be turning thirteen in a month from this chapter. You can expect to see a larger gap before updates and you can expect to see possibly longer updates. **

**I need a beta…or…I'm thinking of one…anyone wanna help me?**

**Spanish**

**Mi Luz-****My light**

**Mi Alegria- ****My joy**

**Mi estrella- ****my star**

**Mona****- monkey**

**Basta****- Italian for 'stop' or 'enough'**


	6. Stretch

**Dixiewinxwrites12**- glad you like here, here is your 'more'!

** Guest- **thanks so much for the support about my idea, make a short name for yourself when and if you do update again so I know if I'm talking to the same person whenever you review. I thank you so much for the support and I'm glad you like it

** Hope06- **Thanks so much! I'm doing my best to continue. The more I watch, the more I started to see how out of it Kelly was with kids, but when Clarice's baby came, he seemed good about it. I also find that Gaby could be a little iffy as a mom or a parent figure, and what not, but I'm trying my best. Thanks a bunch

_The clearing of throats behind her, wiped the smile from her face and she turned with a look of horror to face…the entire firehouse behind them. Her face flushed bright red and she hid in Seth's shoulder, he placed his lips, unbashedly on the top of her head and she could feel the reassuring smile he gave her._

"Guys…this is Seth…"

Their faces mimicked that of shock and disbelief. This boy was no _'friend', _he was much, much more than that. Watching them, Emily saw this realization dawn on them, watching as though they seemed to get bricks dumped on them as this slapped them in the face- this little girl that they watched struggle to grow up, was hugging this boy like some of them went home to hug their wives. He wasn't just a dance partner, he didn't just play god when he held her in the air- he was her… her… _boyfriend._ And the thought tasted like poison when it tried to voice itself on their tongues. But this is what she needed; a push is what she needs to move along and grow as her person and to grow out of the phase she'd held onto for so long because she hadn't had her mom in eight years.

Seth stepped forward, first to make any sort of move. He looked down at Emily, smiled and removed his hand from around her waist to begin his introduction to the men that would surely pound him for the next hour. "Hello, I'm Seth. I realize that there will be a lot of questions so I'll start answering some now. My last name is Eller, I'll be fourteen in three months, I've trained at this studio since I was four. I started with hip-hop but I do a wide range of dancing now. I'm one of the strongest in my age range at the studio. I'm adopted along with my biological little sister, Haley, she's 5 and absolutely adores Emily. The three of us have full-ride scholarships at the studio and our title-winnings make up for it. What else should I tell you?" he finished, adding in a little more than he needed to.

Casey was the first to step forward, that analytical knit-brow look plastered to his face as he stuck his hand out for Seth to shake. Seth glanced down at it and took it strongly, "Welcome to the firehouse Seth" he said, letting a grin fall to his features and clapping a hand to Seth's shoulder.

"I appreciate that…" He cut himself off, waiting for a response to know who this man was who was manly enough to make the first introduction.

"Lieutenant Matt Casey, Em calls me Casey" he finished, letting go of his hand to back away and join Gabriela.

"It's a pleasure, Lt. Casey" he said with a smile.

Next up was Gaby, and to Emily's surprise, she was decent with him, "Gabriela Dawson, Emily's sister. And this is my partner Shay. Nice to meet you" she told him.

"Another pleasure, I've heard great things about the two of you, and have seen innumerable priceless photos of you all" he told her, prompting Gaby to give Emily an amused smile at the realization that she was talked about. Shay returned the smile and threw googley eyes at Emily to make her blush with embarrassment.

Hermann got to him next, "What kind of music you like?" he asked.

"Oh, right, well, Em and I really like country right now, but I'm a fan of pop, I like classic rock, and billboards and such. I'm trying to widen my palate and listen to more, but I'm always up for suggestions." He answered, earning an A plus slap on the back from Hermann.

Otis and Mills didn't drill him, Vargas had already sort of met him, and Cruz just slapped his back and joined the rest of the already-introduced.

Emily wasn't worried about Mouch, it isn't like he'd do anything, he was a big teddy-bear that sat on the couch, watched football games and always made sure that the left-overs didn't go bad, "One question" he said.

"Shoot" Seth said with a smile"

Mouch took a deep breath, puffing his chest out as he did so, "What" he began dramatically, "Is your favorite food?" he finished finally, releasing the breath he was holding, his stomach pooching slightly over his belt as he did so.

"Great question. The best meal I've ever had was brisket over rice with lemon broccoli and mac and cheese on the side because five year olds live on that" he answered, making Mouch sigh and practically drool as he imagined the flavors.

"You cook?" Mills asked from behind them and Seth turned to nod.

Kelly was going to be Emily and Seth's worst nightmare, and he was the next to step up. This would go for a while, but Emily needed to find a place for them to stretch without anyone seeing them.

"You take care of her? At the studio?

"Wherever I can, as best I can without crossing the line" he told him, also seeming to have realized the nature of the conversation.

Kelly nodded, "And where is that line?"

"It's where she says it is, and I respect that in all its meanings." Seth said. His chivalry was showing and they all knew it, but only Emily knew that this was no act. This was Seth and everything that went to him; this was how he acted towards all adults. Even though his attitude was a little more playful with Emily, this was and is Seth, this is who he is, polite and to the point most often than not.

"Good answer. One of the strongest?" Seth nodded, "How much?"

Seth thought for a moment, "The last time I checked I could do three reps at 150" he informed Kelly, eliciting a surprised reaction from the seasoned firefighter.

"Ok, but I got my eye on you" He said, backing away.

Emily took him around the firehouse and they eventually sat at the oak table to study various materials. Emily was unsure of how she would get to Abby's stretched without being seen; the fact of the matter was that she just wasn't ready to show what she could do to the men at the firehouse. But the thought came on her that it might not be something she could control today and would just have to show up stretched.

"So…" Seth started, looking at Emily, "Abby Bcc'd me in the email she sent you. We _both _have to show up stretched and warm." He told her, informing her of something she didn't already know.

"I know… well, I know about the stretch and warm thing, but not about the 'you too' thing." She said, "I just… I don't want to show them yet, and if they get a call, I mean, I don't know if they would make us come, they might, or they might make someone stay. I just, I mean, we can't say, 'we're gonna warm up, so don't mind us doing pushups and sit ups and crunches and aerials and backbends and crap over there.' They're gonna watch… very intently…" she said in somewhat of a panic, causing Basil to sit up and give a low whine.

Gaby turned at the noise from the wolf and gave Emily a questioning look, who didn't bother to hide the look of worry in her eyes and the nod off she gave to signal she was alright. Gaby walked over, "What's up?" she asked, completely butting into the conversation Emily was having in hushed tones with Seth.

She sighed, "Abby wants us stretched when we get there. But I don't know where we can stretch and warm-up and even if we show up early, she wants us stretched and warm when we get there, so it isn't going around anything." Emily explained in a huff, her face flushing slightly.

"Practice wherever" Gaby said as though it were obvious.

"The point, sister, is that I still want to be hidden, I told, but it doesn't mean I was ready to" Emily said, causing Gaby to wince at the words. She knew they were true, she just wishes the girl would feel okay, be more open and let her cares fly away for a day.

Gaby sighed in defeat and sat back down on the couch. Seth watched Emily, catching her eye as she turned to look at him again, "Dance as though no one is watching" he told her before standing, spreading his feet and bending to wrap his arms around his left leg and plaster his face to his knee. It caught the attention of the firefighters in the room, but after a few seconds of watching the currently boring display of flexibility, they resumed to the tasks they'd been doing before. But Emily knew that once she joined in, they'd be watching, no matter what. And when they started their crunches and sit-ups, all eyes would be on them, no matter where they went.

So, swallowing the tears, Emily stood, and dropped herself a little lower to the floor than Seth, and warped herself into the same position, already a leg behind as he moved place his arms between his legs and his hands on the floor about 6 inches behind his heels. Casey, looking back to 'check on them', did a double take as he saw that Emily had joined Seth in the stretching he knew they had to do because of the email succession he saw earlier that day. Tapping Gaby on the arm, she too did a double take. And so starts the chain of tapping and double-takes and watching.

Emily, aware that this has happened, and moving on to her right leg and inadvertently dropping slightly lower as her feet began to give way. The tears she swallowed earlier had never gone all the way down and were now burning behind her eyes as they threatened to appear again. Nearly choking, she pulled out of her stretch and faced Seth, pulling her hands up to her face shield her eyes from what she thought to be an inevitable water-works show.

Placing his hands on her waist, in perfect bounds of where his hands should be, he began to talk, to speak softly and reassuringly to her as they would have to continue their stretching in order to not get yelled at. "Emily, breathe, it's okay. Look at me, look at my eyes. Good. Now, it's you and me, we're at the studio, there's no one else but Abby there, yelling in the room beside us. We're doing our warm-ups on a regular day, we're okay. We're laughing, you threw water at me remember? We are perfectly okay, you are in you comfort zone. You and me, Em, you and me." Her breathing began to even out; Basil sat back beside them and began with her normal panting routine, tongue lolling out to make drool spots on the floor. She nodded, and Seth had to duck to see her eyes as she tucked her chin to her chest to take a final few breaths and swallow the tears.

It took them the rest of the hour to finish out the stretches they normally did, and Emily thought about how they should try doing them in different succession or doing different ones entirely so their bodies didn't expect the norm and stayed with a good range of motion. Though they would usually add a line of walkovers, or handstands, or aerials and back tucks to their warm-ups, Emily was simply not ready to take it that far with the scrutiny of the firemen looming behind her. She'd always imagined that her 'reveal' of her talents would be amazing and spectacular, like inviting them to the last competition of the season-nationals-and winning the overall title with some marvelously complicated and beautifully spooky contemporary solo or duet with Seth. She didn't, however, expect it to be forced stretching at the firehouse like this, where she nearly had an attack and had to battle with her emotions the entire time.

"We should uh… get going" she told Seth, loud enough for Gaby and Shay to hear so they got the hint.

He nodded, "do you have your bag?" she reached under the table to grab it, but Seth reached out as soon as she got her grip on it, "Here, let me take it." She handed it over and he grabbed his own bag, pulling it up as he attempted to 'wave' goodbye to the men of the firehouse, "Thanks guys" he said before following Emily out to the ambo where they'd sit on the bench in the back to ride over in silence. As soon as they were situated and driving, Emily comfortably rested her head on his shoulder and allowed his arm around her waist to hold onto her hand. This was going to be interesting, Gaby meeting Abby Lee Miller for the first time, possibly- and hopefully not- wanting to sit in the skybox and watch until a call came in.

**Sorry for the late update, I hope it was okay. Let me know of any errors or anything you noticed, I realize that Shay's eyes are blue, so the first chapter, the eye colors I described can be switched from Shay's being green and Basil's being blue. But Shay's eyes will be blue in this story from now on. I imagine Emily being like Sophia Lucia when she was 10/11 because I want her to be totally brilliant. When I mention gymnastics, she has to have a weakness, so let's imagine her doing floor/beam work and not much on the bars or running and jumping over things. **


	7. Abby Lee Miller

**Sorry everyone! That is all, oh and I do not own Chicago Fire or Dance Moms**

**Dixiewinxwrites12- **any time anyone reviews, they get a mention, so, no problem. I like to go to pages and check out who reviews, maybe read a story and return the favor. I'm so glad you like it, let me know if you have a suggestion or anything!

_"We should uh… get going" she told Seth, loud enough for Gaby and Shay to hear so they got the hint._

_He nodded, "do you have your bag?" she reached under the table to grab it, but Seth reached out as soon as she got her grip on it, "Here, let me take it." She handed it over and he grabbed his own bag, pulling it up as he attempted to 'wave' goodbye to the men of the firehouse, "Thanks guys" he said before following Emily out to the ambo where they'd sit on the bench in the back to ride over in silence. As soon as they were situated and driving, Emily comfortably rested her head on his shoulder and allowed his arm around her waist to hold onto her hand. This was going to be interesting, Gaby meeting Abby Lee Miller for the first time, possibly- and hopefully not- wanting to sit in the skybox and watch until a call came in._

Even in the most simplistic of times, like this one, Emily's mind can't help but stray to the days leading up to _the day_. If only she hadn't rushed them so much, if only she wasn't as loud, if only the other driver had stayed on his side of the interstate. But she did rush them, she wasn't quiet, and he didn't stay on his side. Because in all reality, it was a pile-up, and there were five cars involved in the accident, and Emily was one of three to survive that crash. Unfortunately however, the other two weren't from her car. Maybe that wouldn't have been fair. Entire cars died, full to the brim with fatalities.

Her mind couldn't help but stray, and it wasn't as if she and Seth would be talking, so her zone out went unnoticed by the rest of the bodies in the ambulance, and Basil could only helplessly listen from the front seat as Emily's vision narrowed until her vision went black.

"_Are you excited?" 17 year old Gabriela Dawson asked from the driver seat as her eyes darted from the review to the road. Emily, bouncy as always, tottered back and forth in her car-seat in Gaby's car on their way to her studio. It was a rather new studio she was going to, and Gaby was only dropping off the incredibly independent young five year old for nearly an entire day of dance. _

"_Of course! I get to work on my solo for the competition today! Isn't that exciting?!" she squealed, leaning as far forward in the restrictive car-seat as possible. Gaby released a small laugh at how much energy the little tot behind her had. It was insane, if she had that much energy, she'd either be insane or people would think she was on ecstasy- and she was definitely neither of those. _

"_Why doesn't anyone ever stay to watch me? Only mumma does, but why don't you or Tony? I want you guys to see me!" the little girl whined, sitting back in her car-seat heavily and letting out a huff._

_Gaby scoffed, "I can't today monkey, I already made plans. I'll pick you up. But you always tell us to come to your competitions, and we do, you say you want all your hard work to be a surprise. Are you going to have a gymnastics meet soon?" she asked. _

"_I dunno. Miss Abby said she wants me to focus on my dances. But I do a lot of acro tricks, so she says I haven't totally abandonded it." Emily replied, frowning to herself as she thought about the sentence._

_Gaby released a chuckle and began slowing down as she approached the turn to the studio. They sat in the middle of the road for literally five minutes because of the traffic; in that period of time, Emily and the rest of the car had gone quiet. She was thinking, thinking hard, and when Emily Dawson thought really hard about something, it meant something was wrong. _

_Pulling across the left lane and into the studio, Gabriela parked and swiveled in her chair to look at her mother's tiny twin behind her, "What are you thinking about monkey?" she asked sincerely, searching the little girl's eyes and face for an answer._

"_Thanks for driving" she said simply and unbuckled the few buckles and jumped down to the floor of the van, still standing up straight, and pulled open the door to go to the studio._

_Gaby, confused, let it go and got out, pulled open the trunk and reached for Emily's monogrammed dance bag. It was blue, with black and green polka dots and trim, her monogram in purple on the front- EDR- her name under it- Emily Rose Dawson. _

"_Do I need to walk you in?" Gabriela asked, dropping to her knees on the rocks to quickly fix Emily's hair and help her with the bag._

"_I can manage. Love you" she said, still looking at her feet. Gaby, surprised and worried at this sudden display of withdrawal, kissed Emily on the cheek with a stunned look and watched as her little sister turned and walked defeatedly away from her and towards the studio. Her hair swishing slightly with the breeze that fluttered the leaves in the trees._

"Left into this parking lot and we're here." She heard Seth say to her sister in the driver's seat of the ambo. She pulled into the turn lane and they sat.

"Same place?" she asked to seemingly no one in particular.

"Hmm?" Emily replied, returning from her stupor, "Uh, yeah. Same place. Still amazing." She finished.

_You okay? _Emily heard from her mind.

_Yes, I'm fine Basil, thanks for watching out. _

_You know I watch this stuff happen to you. And it really scares me. Maybe you should tell someone about your flashbacks._ The wolf responded

_I think I'm alright. But I do appreciate you watching out. _She responded.

_It's kind of why you got me. _Emily chuckled inwardly for a moment and returned to the present once again to find Seth staring at her. But she only waved it off as Gaby finally found an opening to turn and pulled into the vaguely familiar parking lot.

"Oh shit…" Shay mumbled from the front seat and sunk slightly in her chair. Gaby shot her a weird look and parked in the back, taking up two half-hazard spots as usual and killing the engine to come around and unlock the back doors for Emily and Seth to exit the ambo.

Seth jumped out first and turned back around, "Hand me your bag" he instructed Emily, taking it from her and setting it on the pavement before reaching up a hand to assist her down.

"Where is your stuff?" Emily asked before realizing he had jumped down with it and it was on the pavement next to her own dance bag.

"Abby Lee Dance Company?" Shay asked from behind the couple. Her face looked weird, almost an 'are you serious?' face.

"Ahh…Yeah. Why?" Emily asked.

"This is where I used to…" She was promptly cut off by a shrill scream attached to a name from across the parking lot and a tiny figure dressed in pink barreling as fast as she could towards the ambo and its five passengers.

"Emily!" Haley screamed, dropping her backpack and taking off towards them. Gaby turned to look at Emily with an amused smile as a grin spread across the almost-teenager's face and she crouched to the ground to accept the incoming bullet that would only be stopped by Emily's arms as they encased her in a hug.

"Hi baby, how are you?" Emily asked, standing and propping the girl on her hip.

"This is my sister, also known as the mutant roadrunner, Haley. Haley say hello don't be rude." Seth explained to Gaby and Shay before turning to Haley to instruct her to be polite.

"Hellloooo!" she sang to Emily's sisters, holding her arm out straight and rotating her hand in an awkward wave.

"Well hello there" Shay laughed, poking Haley in her side and smiling at Emily, "how are you?"

"Much better now that I'm with Emmy and Sethasaurous" she explained to Shay with twinkly-eyed smile.

Emily set her down and turned to her sister, "Well, uh, thanks for the ride" she said, hoping that they would just decide to go back in case they got a call.

"Uh uh" Gaby hummed, "I told you I was gonna meet your teacher, lead the way." Gaby told her, swiping her hand toward the building to motion for Emily to start walking. So she did, and led the way into the studio with Haley holding tight with both hands to her own left one. Her steps were off pace and nervous, she didn't want this meet to happen; her white-knuckle grip on a fistful of Basil's hair was evidence of her inner struggle to control her panic.

Seth broke off for a quick minute to give his foster sister a thank you- an amazing friend to the trio and especially Seth and Emily at school, where things usually didn't work out in their favor. The girl's long, dark tresses hung around her face, her dark eyes lightening as she waved to Emily and blew Haley a kiss.

Catching back up, Seth followed the 4 women into the studio, bypassing everyone to set their things in the den.

"Thanks Melissa" Emily chimed, signing the three names onto the clipboard and following Seth into the den, both of her girls close beside her. Melissa kept her head down as she eyed the two new women in less-than-impressive blue slack and gray t-shirt uniforms.

"Shoes off or you'll get yelled at" Emily called over her shoulder to her sisters in an annoyed fashion, barely giving them a second glance as she pushed the studio door open and padded across the room to sit next to Brooke.

Following suit, Gaby and Shay gave each other that, "She's doing it" look and found it logical to stand with the older women in the room, also holding their shoes by their sides and waiting around for someone.

"Atten-tion!" screamed a low, gravelly voice at the same time that the door to the den swung open. A large, middle aged woman crashed through the door to the den and stopped short, "Oh hello" she said to Gaby and Shay, flashing a small, confused smirk at Shay before continuing to the front of the room to the mirrors. Sending a sideways glance towards Emily as she walked, the soon-to-be teen gave a slight shake of her head and rolled her eyes, the appearance of tears glistening the whites of her eyes as they caught the light.

"I called attention" she sounded annoyed; "This means you stand and line up" she informed them sarcastically and watched as the 10 of them scrambled to their feet and into a half-hearted line. Emily linked her pinkie finger with Brooke's before resting a hand on Haley's back, who had her fingers threading through the belt loops on Emily's jeans.

"Emily, you aren't dressed" Abby started, her eyes roaming the jeans and boots the girl was wearing. Her voice was that of defeat, like she'd come to this conclusion too many times in recent days.

"I didn't have time, we were…"

Abby cut her off, "Seth is dresses! Didn't have time or didn't want to? I know you're insecure about your legs, but no one cares about the scars, be proud of them. Don't wallow. 20 pushups then go get dressed.

Rolling her eyes, Emily slouched her shoulders and tromped to the back of the room, dropping to the floor do finish out her pushups. She watched as Brooke's hand fell to her hip and Haley slinked over to Seth, hooking her fingers in the waist-band of his shorts. The first few push-ups took no effort, and she was done by the time the bottom of the pyramid was finished receiving the knife-like words Abby throws around.

Finished, Emily stood and pushed into the den, dressing quickly into light gray leggings, going down to her ankles, pulling on her turn-pads and soft black-cotton shorts over the leggings. She tugged on a white sports bra and a teal colored tank top. The last thing she did was pull her hair high onto her head and throw the previous outfit into her bag before dragging herself back into the studio to get dropped again.

Returning to the room, Emily noticed Abby send another look at Shay, who reacted by blushing and bowing her head the way she does when she feels awkward or embarrassed. Ripping the last piece of white photo-paper from the mirror, both Emily's and Brooke's faces broke into ear-to-ear grins, "You'll have a solo this week Brooke. Don't let me down."

"Now" she continued, "We are doing a group number; I have four solos and a duet. Our group number is a hip hop number…" the moms interrupted with a groan and Shay and Gaby looked around in amusement at the reaction, "It's called Don't Ask, Just Tell." Shay's jaw went slack and she sent a questioning look towards Emily, who gauged her reaction with weary features, "Brooke, you are on top, you have a solo called Arm Yourself. Maddie, you will do a solo entitled Uphill Battle, and Kendall, you will have a solo called Secrets and Lies. Emily, your solo will be called hallelujah, and you still have your duet with Tyler."

Abby took one last, long look at Emily's sisters before a wide, toothy grin splayed itself across her features, "I know who you are!" she said to them, and Shay looked up at her, "Leslie Elizabeth Shay!"

Her face had a quick moment to go bright red before she said three words, "Hello Ms. Abby."

**Alright guys, I'm sorry it took so long, but here it is. I don't feel like this chapter went so well, and it's really mean of me to make you wait for so long and then give you a sucky update. But here it is.**

**A few things:**

**Any questions?**

**Any concerns?**

**Any suggestions?**

**Anyone wanna be my beta?**

**Anyone want to proof read?**

**It was too short wasn't it…working on that too**

**Let me know what you think. I don't know if imma do anything with that website**

**For those of who, probably all, who don't watch Dance Moms, this isn't going to be crossover enough for it to be labeled as such, but I needed an amazing place for her to dance, and I know of that place. **

**I'm changing some things. The brown haired girl is Seth's foster sister, she is not adopted yet, don't know if she will ever be, but she is close with Seth and Haley and company. The actress, should you want to know what she looks like, I'm modeling her after Selena Gomez cause I'm a dork.**

**I found an excuse, Gaby is only Emily's sister, Emily doesn't necessarily have to look like her sister, just her mom, so their mom looks like Naya Rivera, which is why Emily Is being modeled as such.**

**Just to let you know, if you review, just as incentive, you get a mention, no matter how stupid the review is. Thanks to everyone who has reviewed, watch out for your name.**

**Anything else? I am really trying to do better at updating, really, but it's tough. I'm in high school, it's a bitch. Thanks though for your patience and your dedication!**


	8. Bang

**Dixiewinxwrites12-**** Thanks so much for the review and all of your support. You've really been awesome. Yes, her insecurities, I am trying to touch on a little. I feel like she's built on insecurity, being in hiding, but I'm hoping to find a place for her to break out, such as if the 'house' decides to sit in one of the watch boxes and see her during practice, and her finally getting over herself and wearing something that the rest of the girls wear (i.e. short shorts and a sports bra or dance bra). I like your page, I'm also in love with horses, but I feel it would be too much to have horses be something else she's really good at. I feel like I've stretched her 'ability?' already…**

**Guest-**** thanks for reassuring the fact that it wasn't 'short' it was actually, the shortest of all of the chapters so far, and even with all the beginning and after story commentary like this, it still had less words than every other chapter. Thanks for everyone's continuous support, but if you made an account, I could thank you personally! Haha, kidding. Thanks!**

**Hope06-**** thanks so much to start! Yeah, Lauren German went to a performing arts college I think, for dancing. Yep, just looked it up, Orange County High School of the Arts- so a high school- where she trained as a dancer. I thought it would be interesting to bring into her character. I'm so happy you all like this story, it makes me happy!**

**Anyway, I'm having trouble fitting Antonio into this because he isn't around a lot in the show, but that shouldn't matter because it's my story, and I haven't very well stayed with the plot line in the series. I'll try, but I might hit on the fact that he hasn't been there and bring that in as a conflict. **

**All of the things I set up as a warning in the first chapter and the summary, will get hit on soon, I mention her 'scarce' weight a lot, but I guess I mean fat content because she's really strong and a really amazing performer and 'gymnast'. I'm going to try to direct you to a few videos to let you get the feel of what she's like. Some of them will be older people, but I want to portray her like… super. And I know not everyone likes that but oh well, suck it. It's my story.**

**Anyway, this is the longest so far! 3,000+ words without this intro!**

_Abby took one last, long look at Emily's sisters before a wide, toothy grin splayed itself across her features, "I know who you are!" she said to them, and Shay looked up at her, "Leslie Elizabeth Shay!"_

_Her face had a quick moment to go bright red before she said three words, "Hello Ms. Abby."_

Emily shot confused glances between Shay and her teacher, nervous, confused, dumbstruck looks that could only be explained by one of them. There seemed to be a sort of connection, something Emily couldn't explain. It was tense, the thin line replacing Shay's mouth made that quite obvious. The awkward, half-cheery smile Abby held felt a little creepy, but it seemed like she was expecting something, maybe a different reaction or for the flushed blond woman to say something else besides 'hello' in a sort of angry tone. Neither face the two women wore disappeared, they were plastered, seemingly in cement before Abby decided she might speak.

"How are you?" Abby asked, the smile not fading, her eyebrow twitching slightly though.

Shay nodded, "Good, I'm uh, I'm good. Y-You? You're um, you're good?" she sighed, closed her eyes and inhaled, returning her hands to their pockets, shrugging her shoulders to her ears and looking up to face her former dance teacher.

"Yeah" Abby replied, "I'm doing well, kids on Broadway, Cirque, you know… all the places you could be if you wanted" The look finally wore away, and she shrugged, giving Shay the face and waiting expectantly for an answer.

"Yes, but my decision to stop wasn't made up by my own free mind. You know exactly what happened, and not now, here, nor is ever or anywhere, a place to bring up such a topic to rehash. But now I'm successful, I have purpose, I save lives and I have an amazing family." She bit back, her shoulders dropping from their almost innocent, retreating position and her arms unfolding to cross over her chest in a stance that said, 'I'm not backing down'.

Abby put up her hands in mock surrender, shrugged, and turned back to her dance team. "Haley, sorry babe, but you're kind of a bystander here, you're too young to compete and it would be too many girls"

"I know" Haley responded cheerfully, playing with a pom-pom attached to her dance top.

"Seth, you're my first choice for a male lead in any group number, but we won't need you this week, and I'm sorry about the duet with Emily, but I need her to help teach Tyler, and I need her to branch out." She turned to Emily, "I know you don't want to do the duet with him, I know you don't like him, but we'll keep working and you guys will get it. I need you to succeed, I need you to be able to dance with difficult-to-work-with people, and it's part of the training." Abby finished.

It was Seth's turn to speak up on behalf of Emily, "Yeah, I know Abby, but Tyler is hurting her, he drops her on purpose and her hip and her shoulder is only going to get worse, she can't deal with being out of dance again for too long. You aren't only jeopardizing your name, our name, and everyone's reputation, you are putting her health on the line and that isn't okay." His voice began to grow and he finished with a huff.

He was right, but Emily's sisters were in the room, they didn't know any of this, this was all new and a lot to take in and now they know their baby is being put in pain. Emily, head down at the floor, looked out of the corner of her eye to see Gabriela, face nearly flushed, staring at Emily, now looking very concerned.

Everything was interrupted when a voice filtered through the radio on the paramedic's shoulders, "_house fire 2057 Englewood road…" _it trailed as the two dashed out of the room, leaving Emily, confused and embarrassed, alone, even though alone is how she wanted it. She didn't want to be watched, especially by her sister, or her partner. They were so in the dark, she was always in the shadow, but when things are thought about, they were all in the shadows that ruled over the earth, the shadows of each other's glory

**Twodayslater-twodayslater-twodayslater-twodayslate r-twodayslater-twodayslater-twodayslater**

It was fourth period AP Government and Politics when the semi crashed the ambo.

School was a hellhole already. That much was an obvious fact. Being one of two 13 year olds in a sophomore class is a little intimidating; even more so if you live at the bottom of the food chain. Things were difficult; no doubt, being in the top ten of a team of fifty track runners didn't help-it made things worse because no one saw her as one of the best and helping the school. She was a target; Emily Dawson was a petite, underdeveloped preteen who had stolen a role that belonged to a deserving senior. When you add in a skip-to-the-top in the dance classes, being an AP student only added to the teasing that was her living hell.

There was no niche for this tiny girl of 4'3 ½". She hung with the foster kids, the two given up and passed around like a ketchup bottle. Seth wasn't a condiment; they didn't chew him up and spit him out. It's the way the foster care system worked-you were passed around until you were of age or adopted. But he did get adopted; it's the thing people didn't want to see because it gave them less material. Not only did he get adopted, he got to go with his biological sister, whom he cares for with all his might. Alexx however, was unsuccessful with her bid against the foster care system, but she was close to getting out. She loved both Seth and Haley, and did everything she could for them. She loved Emily, frequently being the provider of a ride to and from the dance studio for the two young teens. It was Alexx who dropped Haley off when Gaby and Shay finally met the most successful and hardworking monster of monsters-Abby Miller.

Emily Dawson was a thief in the eyes of Jordan High School. She was a low-life and miserable and high school was exactly the way it was portrayed in the movies and the television shows. Everyone was a bitch; everyone was an annoying, stuck-up, two-faced bitch. The teasing was exactly the way they show in the movies: cruel, unusual, petty, and haughty. The world thinks no high school is like that-they're wrong. But Emily wasn't just a title thief in the eyes of the bitches who come up with the material; she was another kind of thief-one much worse than just stealing a school title. Emily Rose Dawson was a killer, a murderer; she stole the lives of her parents because she was in the backseat at five years old, on the way to her dance recital. Emily didn't even know the meaning of death then; it meant someone went away, she didn't know it meant they had died, they weren't breathing, that they were in the ground. Emily didn't know that it specifically meant that you were put in a box and put six feet in the ground where the animals can't find you and the bugs can't eat you. You simply went away.

Emily gets more grief for pulling a wolf through the school. Everyone knows what she's for. The school literally did an assembly-unnecessary, yes-to explain to the school of the unusual girl that would soon be roaming the halls. The assembly said no more than that she was young and that she and the dog were not to be separated- the dog was there for emergency purposes, due to reasons that cannot be released to the school. But that's when people utilized Google to look up this unsightly mystery soon to be walking the campus and attending classes. That is how the pit-life of Emily Dawson began at Jordan High School, a crash, the media, an assembly, and a search engine.

AP government was an ok class. It was her lowest grade on the brink of a C at 85, and it would either stay that way or get better. It was then that the school got the call. Emily's sisters had been involved in a crash, a bad crash, and they were now on the way to the hospital. They were told to be on the lookout for a large red fire engine and a horde of firemen running through the building to collect this little thing that some saw as more than just a sister and more like a daughter. That call meant keep her on the outside, don't tell her anything, but make sure she's getting ready to leave by the time the engine roared up to the front of the school.

She caught her teacher's weary eyes after the phone rang and he was speaking to the person on the other line, "Yes… oh dear… my goodness… no I won't… let me know… that's fine… thank you…" the call ended and he threw her a look, that she managed to catch as she dropped her pencil to grab the sides of her table to twist and crack her back. She sent him a questioning glance in return, seeing the sorrow building behind a barely-there front. Her breath hitched once, his staring was making her nervous, but she didn't know what was wrong. Basil sensed the tension rising in her owner's chest. She sat up, only making things worse and whined, resting her muzzle on the girl's gray desk. It caught the attention of everyone in the classroom, them all looking up to turn her was at the high pitched distress call that had been made by only one thing in the room. Emily looked to Alexx for help, her eyes a mixture of fear and worry. Alexx's dark brown orbs widened, her hair falling into her face as she mouthed the word "breathe" to Emily.

She managed to calm, her breathing evened out and the wolf flopped back to the floor under her chair. She snuck another nervous glance at Alexx, hoping it would calm her nerves. Alexx looked over at the same time Emily did and mouthed "It's okay" to her before nodding and looking back down at her work to finish. She still wasn't all the way calm, and her teacher wouldn't stop looking up at her, almost as if checking on her every so few seconds. She could feel it. It was in her brain, fire in her stomach, igniting the fuel in her gut that told her something was wrong.

That's when her legs began to ache. That feeling of losing hope and things begin to go south. The jagged scar going down each of her legs began to burn, dull and achy. They were from the surgeries directly after the crash. They used to be prone to infections, which is why they hadn't gone away and the tissue died and remained. Now they ache with the feeling of something bad. Nervous? Achy scars. Sad? Achy scars. Terrified or scared to death? Achy scars. Even with the treatment to make them go away, the ache would never go away, she'd never be confident. She'd never feel ok. She'd never have that.

And then the call came over the intercom, _"Could you send Emily Dawson to the front office to sign-HEY!" _they heard before it cut off.

**-Firemen-firemen-firemen-firemen-firemen-firemen-f iremen-firemen-firemen-firemen-firemen-**

Cruz drove with lights and sirens, faster than he needed to, faster, sometimes, than he did when there was an actual fire. But sometimes they already knew that no one was inside a place during a fire. It made him think about how fast he drives-maybe this will be normal speed from now on: faster than before. But this wasn't a fire. This was Emily. Little Emily, little sister, little girl, the baby, the play-thing, the daughter in some cases. He wasn't about to let her agonize over what she didn't know, he couldn't let it happen. He couldn't let it happen that she wasn't there. She'd shoot herself if she wasn't there while Shay and her sister were in the hospital.

"Cruz" Casey called to get his attention, "Turn off the sirens as we get close, especially before turning in so we don't freak her out. There obviously isn't a fire."  
"Right lieutenant, got it" he replied over his shoulder, pulling through an abandoned warehouse compound and killing the sirens so they didn't just randomly kill the sirens in the middle of the street. It was also a known shortcut to the school, and there were police there every so often to make sure no one was skipping or selling around in the abandoned parking lots. Cruz pulled into the school parking lot, turned the truck parallel to the front of the building and slammed it into park.

Matt, Kelly, Peter, and Hermann all got out, the only men actually in the truck, and Cruz sat, the truck idling in park because he knew better than to turn it off. When they came barreling back through those doors, he'd definitely get slapped over the head if the truck wasn't in drive and ready to smoke back through the parking lot to get to the hospital. Hermann stayed at the door, waiting for them to get back with the teenager so there was nothing in their paths to stop them from getting to the hospital as fast as they could.

The three firefighters burst through the front door of the school, nearly knocking over a custodian as they did. The door was an extra five pounds per square inch away from being pulled off the hinges when they yanked it open to sign her out. "Casey!" Kelly yelled,"Sign her out, Mills you get Emily, I'll get her stuff" he finished.

"Emily, Emily Dawson" Peter said, almost on the other side of the reception counter he was leaning over. He was anxious. It was his girlfriend in the hospital and her sister that he had to pick up from school and tell the bad news to; this wasn't a fun day so far. At all.

"Room 203, but you can't go up there, wait for her." She said, picking up the phone, "Could you send Emily Dawson to the main office to sign- hey!" she yelled, slamming the phone down as Kelly grabbed Peter by the arm and dragged him out of the office and towards the stairs. They took them two at a time, reaching the top in a matter of seconds, taking off down the hallway and each taking a side to locate the room to run into to retrieve the girl. They found it and nearly took it down.

Emily was standing next to her chair now, her book-bag on it, putting her things neatly in order where they belonged. The door flew open, Alexx stood, Basil barked and Emily's heart nearly stopped. Emily whirled to see her sister's boyfriend already making his way towards her, the lieutenant close behind. They looked determined, they look like they had a mission; they almost looked ready for bloodshed .Kelly grabbed the binder on her desk and shoved it into her bag without saying anything, then a folder, a textbook, extra paper.

Peter grabbed her by the hand, "What's going on?" she screamed, flashing a horrified look at Alexx, who was haphazardly throwing things into her own bag and watching to make sure they didn't accidentally hurt her. Basil growled deep in her throat and almost let an instinctual bark to make them lighten up. It didn't work. They ignored her. They were used to it. Peter pulled Emily through the row of chairs. She struggled to keep up, pull out of his grasp and make it over the bags that were now magically lying in the middle of the aisle. He yanked a little too hard and she toppled over a lacrosse bag, falling harshly to her hip on the tile that made up the floor.

Peter whirled around, face apologetic and squatted to pull her up. Though feeling reluctant, her body betrayed her and let him do it. She didn't want to be a child. She didn't want to be a child when she didn't know what was happening and when there were so many of the bullies watching her intently to see what was going to happen. The teacher could only watch, dumbstruck, as the firefighters pulled his student from the classroom, another one wordlessly following without permission. Instinctively, Emily's thin legs wrapped around Peter's waist, her arms around his neck because it was natural for her to do that when the men were rushing, especially when there was a call.

"What's happening?!" she screamed again, clutching Peter's collar, trying to drown out the laughter of her peers as she acted like a baby in front of them. Her eyes welled with tears, hoping that Alexx's stride would pick up and she would be magically holding Emily's hand, offering up her silent comfort. But instead she went the other way, in the direction of Seth's fourth period class. She was going to get him, get their sister and go wherever Emily was going. Emily knew that, and it calmed her. They nearly tumbled down the stairs, and she didn't have it in her anymore to scream. Her heart began to flutter, her chest began to heave and her breaths began to hitch. The wolf began to whine, both their eyes deepening in color with the fear building in their bodies.

Hermann pushed through the front door as soon as he saw them, holding it for them to storm through at a walk. The first time they'd walked since they heard about the accident and decided to grab Emily. He ran ahead, pulling open the door to the truck for them to clamber into and pulled the door shut as he jumped in.

And then it was lights and sirens and Emily just knew that this couldn't be good.


	9. Hospital

**Chicagofireforever- I'm so glad you like the story, it means so much to me, and all of your supports keeps me going. I really, really appreciate it. Anyway, here's your update**

**Hope06- Yes, Emily is scared and confused, but that's the way the storyline was supposed to be and I strayed from it. Emily truly loves all the support you are giving her and the way you would stick up for her if you were a friend of hers that she knew. Yeah, they may have made things worse, but they're cocky, overprotective dads and brothers. Thank you for your input to that one, probably annoying check-up chapter. I do think she has the balance, but I think I need to find a way to make the things that balance it come through so that it balances… that didn't make any sense to me. I need to bring forth the balancing factor.**

**Dixiewinxwrites- Thank you for your review. I am working on her insecurities, and this chapter could be a disappointment to some because I wrote it before this chapter that you reviewed. You are correct, Hippotherapy is riding, but it is focused, actually is only, for people with disabilities who are unable to control the movement in their body. I could add it into flashbacks which is something I hadn't thought of before so I appreciate the idea and the suggestion.**

**RayRay- I am going to start being more true to that initial storyline, since it is what I said I would do. I did already write this chapter before I put up this "review to" nonsense, which is the review I am responding to here. Thank you for your support and your review. I appreciate it.**

**Bella- WOW! Thank you for the encouragement and your kind words. Here's your chapter that I wrote before putting up the chapter you reviewed to, thank you so much, really really appreciated. **

**IMPORTANT: YOU ALL HAVE RESPONDED TO CHAPTER NINE, THEREFORE YOU CANNOT POST A SECOND REVIEW TO CHAPTER 9. I would still love for you all to either find a chapter you didn't review to and put your chapter 9 review there, or you could PM me, or wait for the next chapter. Your reviews still keep me going though. **

**I wrote this chapter before putting that "PLEASE REVIEW" nonsense up, so your suggestions will take effect in chapter 10. Thank you so much for the support, I hope you like it.**

She sat rigid in the chair in the private waiting room, her leg bouncing nervously and without direction. She hadn't yet seen her sister, she hadn't yet heard anything on shay, and Alexx wasn't yet there with Seth and Haley. Things weren't yet going well for her so far.

Basil sat up and rested her chin just above Emily's knee on her thigh. Emily looked down, eyes red, and gag her wolf a small, sad smile. She picked up her hand and let it fall heavily onto Basil's head, sliding it down her neck it a long, heavy stroke and resting to grasp the fur at the base of her neck, holding it tightly to maintain some of her sanity. Emily could almost feel the whine building in the Wolf's throat and pulled on the hair wadded tightly in her fist. It cut off and Basil looked up with sad eyes, her tail twitching slightly. The movement, somehow, caught the eye of Christopher Herman, who had looked up from a slab of blue tiled nestled randomly in with the white ones around it and reverted his eyes to Emily to check on her.

He was met with the sight of her staring at basil, her head cocked slightly to the side. He noted the grasp she had on the fur of her service dog and continued to let his eyes wander to finish his analysis of her current state of mind. Her eyes were red and puffy, currently filling with new liquid waiting to burn a salty path down one of cheeks. And then one dripped off her nose, where she watched it land in a small; wet circle on her jeans. He noticed the way her leg twitched, more than once as it so often did when she was holding back. And then it began to bounce again, as it had stopped when basil placed her chin there to soothe the girl. He noticed another tear as she concentrated on trying to hold the emotion back. He saw the pain in her face as of a sky writer had painted it in cloudy letters so everyone would get the memo. He caught the way her fist began clench, unclench, and clench again unconsciously as it did when there was an Impending attack.

And then he was on his feet, moving towards her with deliberate speed and lifting her to his hip. She let her legs dangle this time, not having the energy to curl them around his waist. Her arms wrapped securely around his sturdy neck, grasping desperately to his collar and letting out a loud sob. She tried inhaling the scent of the bonfire on his uniform, but the sobs wracking her body didn't allow any time for gasping in breaths of air. She choked, hard, her breathing was everywhere, the murmur in her chest got louder, she could tell, and her pulse would be far from normal, too far to bring it down in time. Her tears came with reluctance, but they sped down her face without a dam to stop them and they soaked Hermann's collar in seconds. He bounced her around the room, and then tried to take her outside. Nothing worked.

That's when chief stood. He faced Hermann and held out his hands, in the stance that said, "Give her here". That's what he did. Hermann passed her over and she took to the switch quickly, and with more vigor than she had when Hermann first pulled her from the chair. She grasped his collar with a fury and nearly had to bite down on his shoulder to gain any sort of semblance of sanity. Her ankles crossed behind him and she squeezed as hard as possible like it was the very thing keeping her alive. Her fistfuls couldn't get any bigger, but she still floundered for more of it. He held her back tightly, knowing that the feeling would only soothe her further. He took her out, an arm all the way across her shoulders to hold on to the top of her arm, thankfully where her other hand had sought refuge in its clinging so he could hold her and monitor her pulse.

But nothing seemed to help, she wasn't having it. Her heart rate was still soaring, her breaths never eased, and her mind never cleared. She was beginning to shake and her fists worked themselves over and over, trying to rid of herself of the oncoming horror. And that's when the men finally used their heads and remembered the vest that Basil wore. The vest specifically for this event that held the syringes full of medicine, the alcohol prep swatches, and the biohazard bag to dispose of those things.

Matt was first to move, first to think. He lunged for the wolf and ripped open all three of the pockets he would need. He pulled out two syringes and a prep swatch, opening the waste bag in the process for easy disposal. He moved to chief, who stopped bouncing Emily so matt could work. He pulled on the sleeve of her shirt, knowing full well that her arm wasn't where she usually got her medicine, but he was a guy, and she was sensitive. Below the waist was hers, and no man would ever go there. Her swabbed her arm with the pad and registered the way she let that arm go limp, knowing that it wouldn't help her for that arm to be tensed with worry. He jabbed her with the first needle, stepping back and disposing of it. They waited, and sixty seconds later, chief demanded he do it again, she wasn't back to normal yet. The shaking stopped, her fists clenched still, but less aggressively, and her heart rate was getting better. So he did, he stuck her again and stepped back to watch with concern as the girl had become nearly a daughter worked herself back down and further into calm.

Her tears didn't stop, her heart rate wouldn't go all the way down, but when a nurse came in at request to check her heart, she was given a clean bill of health. They all sighed in relief, hating when this happened to their little girl and they all backed down. Chief still held her close, clinging to her as though it was the only way for her to maintain this state. But this was it, this is what they learned to handle, and this is what they all loved. This little girl of four three and a half, and only about 42 pounds, long, dark waves in place of hair, and a personality fit for Emily. That was their love.

Her sobbing died to a sputter and the men were engulfed once again in near-silence between them all, not knowing what to say to each other now. It was one thing to have a firefighter out, like Hermann that time, but when both of your responding paramedics are in the hospital and not bringing people to it, it's a whole 'nother thing to try and process. It was more difficult to process if you were in love with her and her sister.

A different nurse approached, "Because, you'll all stand up, I'm going to speak to the room, Gabriela Dawson is just fine, we're stitching up a cut on her forehead, and a gash on her leg, other than that, her CT came clean" the nurse started. Emily sat up, tensing her muscles, almost involuntary, listening to what this insensitive was talking about.

"We're going to keep her overnight just to keep an eye on anything that could possibly go wrong" Emily let out a tiny sob and brought her hand to her mouth, "Leslie Shay, is going into surgery to relieve some of the bleeding, it won't take long, we'll stitch her up and get her back with you guys as soon as possible. If you need anything, come find us." She finished and nodded a sad nod to the group, mostly Emily and walked away.

Matt studied Emily's reaction, her face now blank and staring straight ahead. There was that look she had, sniffling, and then her gaze glazed, and he left her alone, allowing her to ride it out because there's nothing you can do when that happens, you let it go.

_There was a weight. It was heavy. It was crushing her. She didn't know what to do. It was hard to breathe, her heart wasn't working right. She couldn't move, she couldn't say anything. It was crushing her. She couldn't see much. She didn't remember everything. Her mind didn't know what had happened. She was betraying herself. Remember. But she didn't know. There was dark, something covering her. There was only small light in the sides of her eyes. Peripheral vision was a bitch when it came to a situation where it was only thing you had to rely on._

_Her neck hurt; there was pressure, and then pain, shooting pain. Her back was against the seat, she could feel that. But it was sharp. Her back had sharps. There was the pressure all over her body, it was crushing her. Her legs hurt. Nothing would move. She was immobile. But her legs seemed the most useless. She released a sob and felt the tears seep back into her eyes because she was on her back. Were her legs even there? She couldn't feel them!_

_The tears finally began to flow, her sobs overtaking her tiny, tiny body. Did she have her legs?! She couldn't feel them! Where were they?! And then there was warmth, it was on her belly. It was wet and warm, it was there, and she could feel it. She didn't like it. What was it? What happened? Where was she?_

_And then there were voices, they were loud and scary. She didn't like them, they didn't sound nice…_

"_Anyone?" one asked_

"_Two so far, not hard to find" another replied. What were they talking about? What was happening?_

"_Man, out of 25, you'd hope there'd be more than two" the first replied. They were far away; she wanted them to come closer. They were scary, but maybe they would help._

_Her sobs grew louder and more desperate. With each wave of tears that shook her tiny body she could feel her back grow more and more pained. The hurt grew worse and worse._

"_Aye! Shuddup, I think I got someone!" a different voice screamed. She continued to cry, she didn't know how to stop, and she didn't know if she could stop._

"_Oh my god, there's someone under all of this!" it yelled. There was clanking above her, and a small scream escaped her lips at the fear of what was happening. What was happening? What were they doing? Who are they? _

_There were loud noises and she couldn't help her screams and her cries for them to stop. It was scary, there was no one there to hold her hand and tell her everything was going to be okay._

"_Everything's gonna be alright honey. Can you tell me where it hurts?"_

"_Everywhere!" little Emily screamed, the sharp in her back shifting and making her scream._

"_Does your head hurt? Your belly? Your back? Where honey, tell me where?"_

"_There's sharp in my back!" she said through choked heaves, "My head hurts. I can't feel my legs!" she finished, sputtering out a cry. And then there was light, and the weight had lessened. But her breathing was still labored, it was still hard to breathe in, it was still crushing her. _

"_We have to get this woman off of her, but we have to be careful" it said, "I need paramedics standing by!" he shouted, "She could be the pressure on a wound or something." It continued, "All this glass, shit! What if she's fucking laying on it?" he cursed._

_The weight was gone and there was light. There were people, and there was movement, and there was pain like she'd never felt before. Worse than when Tommy dropped her in dance or she fell of the beam in gymnastics. There were people touching her, they were beginning to move her. The pain intensified. And then she threw up. It was red, bloody, and she couldn't hold it in. they turned her on her side only to discover that she was in fact lying in the glass. This was the movement that nicked the nerve for her to have the use of her legs. This was the one and only movement through this whole dilemma that would cause the rest of her world to turn to hell._

And then there was Alexx, and Seth, and Haley. And then there was movement. She flailed from her stupor and looked toward them, watching as they stumbled around the hospital. They were rushing. Seth looked relatively calm, collected, like a gentleman, he had everyone's things. Alexx carried Haley in her arms, the little girl burying her face in Alexx's neck. Haley was clinging to Alexx, face panicked and flushed, Alexx looked more worried than everyone else-but that was her nature, being maternal was her thing, it was something you had to grow into as you grew up in the foster care system. They ran up to the floor reception and must have asked for wherever there were people for Gabriela Dawson-pointing her to the way for Emily. The nurse pointed, and Alexx looked and she deflated with relief. But her features didn't soften, seeing the state Emily was in only reignited the fear she had been relieved of for a few seconds.

Emily's face was a mask of pain and fear. It refueled the fire in Alexx's system as she rushed over. She gathered Haley by her armpits and set her on the ground, bending at the waist to kiss her cheek and no-doubt assure her that things were in fact ok. She walked quickly to where Emily was, who reciprocated the gesture with concerned looks from the firehouse watching the group's every movement. Alexx dropped to her knees of the floor to look at Emily. Her hands reached up to cup her face, Emily's hands wrapped around her wrists. The embrace made it look as though Alexx was Emily's mom who had just been brought home after being kidnapped and beaten for three weeks. It was maternal; the way Alexx had taught herself.

"Are you ok? You're alright? Are you hurt? Did you have a seizure? It's going to be okay…" Alexx said. Emily nodded viciously to each question, even the one about seizing, though she hadn't, and allowed Alexx to reached up and wrap her in a hug, and caress her, and hold her.

"It's gonna be okay" she whispered, "Everyone's going to be ok" she finished. Holding Emily as a fresh wave of sobs wracked her body. She began to crumple into the older girl, and they allowed themselves on the floor, Alexx backing them into a wall to have something to sit against. Seth had moved wide around them with Haley's hand in his own, setting their stuff down to pick up his sister and bounce her around to calm her.

The room had erupted, and the after-effects left one pair of people in a lump on the floor, being comforted by someone only four years older. And there was the other pair, a brother and sister, nine years apart, acting like a father holding his daughter after she fell off the swings. And then there was the rest of the firehouse, watching with baffled expressions as the situation unfolded with this girl these two girls that neither of them had met. Things had just been starting to calm down, but all it takes is one bump to disrupt the volcano.

After ten minutes, there was silence and it seemed like everyone was finally okay. Emily and Haley were asleep, the nurse brought in a cot that Seth and Alexx both declared with certainty that neither girls would protest to sharing. And then Alexx and Seth were talking, like adults, like mom and dad, husband and wife- just how they looked just fifteen minutes before. They talked in hushed tones, the conversation seeming intense before Alexx pulled her hand up, looking nearly like she was going to strike him but seeming to just be talking to him in harsh tones, as if to reprimand him. He hung his head for a second and looked to say sorry before they hugged and walked back into the room where there was the task of introducing Alexx.

"I'm Alexx; I'm Seth's foster sister. I've been with them for about six months, I'm 17, I have some classes with Emily at school." She said in one nervous breath, releasing the last nervous puff at the end and flushing-what a way to meet them.

"Hello Alexx, nice to meet you, Chief Boden" he said from his chair. She nodded to him.

Kelly looked at Seth, looked like he was getting angry, "You told us you had one sister!" he nearly yelled, an odd thing to get upset about.

"I'm not biological, and I don't even know if I'm staying, I'm what they call a bouncer in the system, I'm not surprised he didn't say anything. Plus, he was covering; I've been guilty party with transportation to and from the dance studio and everything for the two of them." She said, quickly defending Seth's honor. "He was just…protecting everyone" she finished, letting out the familiar puff of air once more.

And then the room turned to quiet and they waited. The two young girls slept, curled into each other with puffy eyes and red faces. They would all sleep there if they could. Chief stayed, Cruz stayed, Mills, Casey, Otis, Severide, and Mouch stayed. No one blamed Hermann for not staying; he had family to go to and be grateful for and go home to tell them he loved them. Casey got a blanket for the girls on the cot. Seth and Alexx shared another couch in the room, eventually falling asleep on each other with Seth's head in her lap. Casey also eventually went to grab a blanket for them.

Shay made it out of surgery, she'd have a killer headache, but she'd be fine; back to work within the month. The rest of the men were left there to wait. They were left there to watch the kids and wait for results. They were there for support and to reminisce. They were there to think about what they had and be grateful for it. They were there so that everyone knew there was a family that loved them, whether or not they were biologically related or just worked together. They were a family; they acted like one.


	10. I Killed Them

**I'm trying to ease myself into the storyline I said I was going to follow. I'm going to do my best with it because there a lot of people who could catch her, a lot of opportunities to intercept whatever she's going through and how she's dealing with it. but I will try. I hope you enjoy. **

**Bella- it is so sweet of you to say that I am your favorite writer. I am absolutely honored that you think that of me and I am honored to accept that role. Thank you Thank you for such encouraging words. **

**JARLY4EVER- thanks so much for reading and reviewing, the feedback is much appreciated. Here is the long awaited update.**

"NO!" she screamed, sitting upright in her bed and startling the wolf awake beside her. Her heart pounded in her chest, beating almost painfully. She struggled to take even breaths. Basil whined is Emily's right hand shot to her chest over her heart. Then she barked, warning Emily that she sensed things weren't okay. Looking over, Emily saw how her emerald eyes had darkened gravely to a grassy green, and she nudged at Emily's elbow, trying to insist to her that she should take a shot of her medicine. But Emily didn't have the strength to do anything else, after the nightmare, things started to click, come together. The dots formed lines, suddenly painting the picture clear as day, though it was too hard to even think about.

The door opened, "Come on monkey, we gotta-oh my god" Gaby exclaimed, finally poking her head around the door and seeing Emily in the state of being she was currently in: staring straight ahead, eyes puffy, still in bed. Seeing the deep worry in the wolf's dark eyes, she came forward. It was obvious in that moment that she hadn't heard the scream Emily released as she woke. Gaby sat down on the comforter, fluffy, but not heavy, with a cherry blossom tree on it, just the dark brown trunk coming up the middle of the comforter, and then the pink flowers as it neared the top. Gaby was only able to study Emily for a moment before the teen folded herself into her sister's embrace. The sobs came unexpectedly, her entire body shaking with the force of them. It stunned Gaby, but only for a moment before she began to stroke, starting at Emily's head and bringing her nails all the way her back.

The ripples that shot through Emily's contracting muscles were strong enough to make anyone get a few shivers of their own. "I've got you" Gaby murmured into Emily's ear, tightening her grip in response to the way Emily did. It took five minutes for Emily to calm herself before Gaby extracted herself from her grip and stood, placing a kiss on her forehead and taking a moment to stare into her eyes. Gaby's brown pools sent a contrasting wave of warmth through Emily's body, releasing some of the tension in her muscles from her waterworks session just moments before. Finally moving to finish her morning chores, Gaby let Basil out to stretch and do business before taking at last look at a lost looking Emily and moving to the kitchen to finish making Emily's breakfast and lunch for the three of them.

Emily only sat there, not having the strength or motivation to do much else. She got up only when Basil persisted enough at the door and in her mind to let her in, leaving a wet nose mark on the outside of glass as a trophy of her hard work. Emily opened the door and let Basil in, closing only the screen door so there was a cool breeze to kick-start her morning routine. However, this morning's routine would only consist of administering medicine, washing her face, and pulling her thick hair into a sloppy ponytail before hiding back under the covers.

All she could do was stare at the ceiling, "I killed them" she breathed inaudibly, making Basil look at her with such an intense reprimand, she almost felt bad for saying it. Almost.

"Come eat!" her sister called. It only made her tear up. She didn't want to eat; her parents didn't get to eat anymore, unless of course there's food wherever they went. _I killed them…_ Her sister stuck her head in the door and frowned once again at the sight staring back at her and slapping her open-handed across the cheek. There was her sister, looking miserable as ever, laying on her back in bed, staring at the ceiling. Basil sat on the floor to the right of the bed, back to the screen door to let the breeze ruffle her fur. Her head rested on the comforter under Emily's left hand. She lifted it to look at Gaby with eyes that portrayed only sorrow at this moment in time.

"Come eat" she said again.

"I'm not hungry" Emily replied, voice thick with tears.

"Do you wanna talk about it?"

"I miss Shay" she whispered.

"She's coming back to the firehouse today, full shifts, fit as a fighter. Picture perfect health, full range of motion, full strength; all that jazz" she finished, studying Emily's reaction. It only consisted of a lone tear and a nod.

"I'll pack your shake but we have to go" she said, moving back to the kitchen to pour the contents of the blender in a hard plastic, removable to-go-cup. Emily got up and grabbed her book-bag, filed her laptop into the built in sleeve and tucking the chord in a longer horizontal pocket towards the base of the bag. Completing herself by grasping the chunk of fur on Basil's neck, she made her way to the car to wait.

She was excited for Shay, she hadn't gotten to see her much. She was all hospitaled out after the first night there, and after she got to stay with Gaby in her room for a few hours. While Peter took care of Gaby for a while at his apartment, Emily stayed with Matt for a few nights. As much as she wanted to see Shay, she couldn't handle it. The hospital hadn't been her friend since she finally got out of it. By the end of the next day in the hospital after she fell asleep with haley on the cot, she could barely walk out with the way her scars ached from being in such and internally high-stress situation. However, she did really appreciate the way Shay understood the way she was feeling. Shay went home for a week, sadly not moving in with them; it would have been great. But Gaby didn't want Emily to see the lack of range of motion Shay had from the shoulders up. She wanted to shield her sister from the pain it would cause her to remember it for herself- the way she couldn't move for so long. Emily didn't much want to see it either, but she did want to see Shay.

Mouch was in his usual spot on the couch, complete with Pouch climbing his chest to get the food that made its way into Mouch's mouth. She dropped her book-bag by the oak table, squealing when Matt wrapped his arms around her slight waist and pulled her onto his lap. She struggled as he blew raspberries into her neck. When he stopped, so did she, relaxing into his body, resting the back of her head on his strong chest. Basil rushed away as soon as she was settled to reprimand Pouch's behavior, having taken the stray pup under her maternal paw to teach him the ropes of being a real firehouse dog, even though she wasn't one, she was as close as they were going to get in the city.

All she wanted to do was close her eyes and rest, but it wasn't that simple; never was. Her legs hurt, preventing her from feeling all the way relaxed , they ached with the sadness and longing she felt in her heart. _I killed them… _

"_Come on monkey, get in the water with me" Gaby said. Six months after the accident and she was still working to put it behind her. That was the big thing, she couldn't forget it... she wouldn't forget it. She needed to be able to remember. The fact of the matter is that it happened, mom and dad were gone, and Emily was in a wheelchair. Her progress was…progressing. They needed to move on. Emily was withdrawn; she didn't want anything to do with anyone or anything else. Her spleen, now 1/3 of the way gone, made her incredibly susceptible to infection and sickness, which is why her surgery scars haven't done well. They were infection prone, one after the other before it finally healed all the way over. They were now jagged, raised and white in contrast to the caramel skin that covered her body._

_They'd encouraged her to swim, so they went to a rehabilitation center that had a pool for all those who were encouraged to do so, and it was in an environment where you didn't get the judgmental stares from the people whose legs actually worked and looked at you like you were simply a waste of space in an area that could easily be filled with people who could do what they came here to do, and do it on their own. She was being difficult as always, like she'd accepted that the doctors told them she might not be able to walk again or have the use of her legs. She knew the sacrifices they made in their personal lives, their social lives, their educational lives, and their financial lives for her to be able to go to physical therapy and have the treatment she needed to get better one day. After the panic attacks started, that led to the seizures, they went to pick out a service dog who would be able to alert someone when there was something happening, or be able to tell by behavior training that something was going to happen. She wasn't allowed at the center, so they left her at home, all forty pounds of medium-sized, white fur. She was a mix of huskies and malamutes, or so they assumed since she didn't have a pin-pointed background._

"_No" she replied. Her jaw squared and her eyes hardened slightly._

"_Why now monkey?" Antonio asked from behind Gaby, causing her to turn to face him just as he splashed water at her. Emily raised one eyebrow in challenge as if to say the gesture he just made was all the reason she needed to not get in the pool. _

_Her challenge was quickly accepted as he pulled himself onto the concrete surrounding the pool and knelt in front of the wheelchair to look at her, "Hmmm?" he hummed._

"_Because I can't" she whispered, pulling her gaze from her lap to lock her colorful eyes with his chocolate pools. He turned to look at Gaby, who shrugged because she hadn't heard what she said. _

"_Pero no es cierto mona, no se puede renunciar a la esperanza. You can't give up hope. You tried two months ago and you didn't like it, but we have to try. You're too special to give up on." He told her softly. _

_Tears built behind her eyes as she struggled to make her decision. She nodded, "Okay" she whispered, nearly inaudible._

"_Okay?" He asked._

"_Yeah" she confirmed. _

_He pulled her up, placing her on his hip and walked to the edge of the pool and waited for Gaby to swim over. Being lowered to the water was something Emily never really wanted to feel again; the feeling of incapability was one that would paralyze you if you weren't already. And then something happened. The water was warm. The water was more noticeably warm than it had ever been. And then she kicked. _

_Emily Dawson kicked her leg. She kicked her leg again. And then she broke down. Her sobs began immediately and she began struggling to get out of her sister's grip. To try this new phenomenon. And then she went numb again. Strong arms held her around her waist._

She was beginning to squirm. Casey had noticed five minutes ago that she had dozed off. But now she was fidgeting. The men hadn't seen a nightmare in more than a year; Emily didn't sleep in the common room anymore. They'd seen slight hints in the aftermath- but hadn't seen it happen in a while. Her body twisted around on Casey's lap. He frowned and looked down at the top of her head, barely able to see her once peaceful face. He took his arms and wrapped them around her midsection, holding the opposite forearm and squeezing her tight to his chiseled chest.

Basil stopped with Pouch's paw in her open mouth. She hadn't yet bit down when her eyes darkened and she looked up at Emily. Her head shot up and turned to see her owner struggling on Casey's lap. Basil untangled herself from Pouch and trotted slowly to Casey, nudging his forearm with her nose. He looked down, his frown deepening at the sight of her now moss-colored eyes. He shook her gently, tightening his arms in pulses to draw her out of her nightmare.

_She managed to wriggle out of Gaby's grasp- only to flounder beneath the surface of the water, unable to stay above it after the feeling fell from her legs. But then she was above water and-_

She woke with a gasp, coughing and choking for the air, struggling to rid her lungs of the nonexistent water. She clawed at her throat- gaining everyone's attention in the process- only to receive handfuls of strong arms. Fighting, she managed to pry the arms off of her and drop to the ground. Casey sat in astonishment, unsure of what to do. Basil took careful steps toward her and amounted to standing over her in protection.

And that's when Shay appeared and immediately jumped back into paramedic mode. She dropped to her knees beside Emily and Basil backed away, standing to the side.

"Emily? Emily!" Shay cried, placing a hand on either of Emily's shoulder's to steady her. She continued to choke and sputter until she began heaving and running for the sink. Gaby ran into the room, swinging herself around of the doorframe as she ran in. She looked around in panic to see Matt empty armed and Shay holding the hair back of her little sister as she wretched into the sink. From nearly across the room, you could see the muscles rippling in her back with each heave, the way her knees were giving way with each round that poured into the sink. She began to move forward and stopped at the counter, listening to Shay as she tried to calm her little sister.

"Shh, let it out; it's okay, I'm here, shh…" she repeated. Emily was already sweating through her shirt. Shay rubbed in circles, realizing the heaving wasn't stopping and reached up to pull the hairband from her hair and secure it around Emily's.

When it stopped and Emily pulled back, she nearly collapsed, having only Shay there to catch her in her descent to the floor. Shay managed to pull her back into a standing position and hold her up while she pulled a glass from the shelf and fill it with cold tap water, offering it to Emily who spit half of it out and drank the rest of it greedily. Shay turned her around and pulled her up to set her on the counter; she grabbed a towel and wet it down before taking it to her mouth to wipe away the vomit, before folding it twice and using it to wipe the little girl's face and cool her down.

"You alright?" she asked softly? Emily nodded, still choking in a few breaths. "Wanna tell me what's up?" Emily began to look around but was suddenly restricted by Shay's hands on her cheeks forcing her to look at the blonde she hadn't seen in so long. "Me and you monkey, tell me what's up."

"I-I was tr-trying to swim a-and I could m-move my l-legs a li-little, and I was f-fighting Gaby and then I got f-free and I w-was dr-drowning before she g-got m-me out of the wa-water. " she gasped, her tears now coming in steady waves down her cheeks, and rolling off of her chin and onto the material of her jeans.

"Oh baby…" Shay whispered, sucking her teeth and pulling Emily towards her. Instinctually as always, she allowed this adult to pull her close, resting her thin legs on her waist and crossing her ankles behind her back. Holding the opposite forearm around her neck and breathing in the mixture of her lotion and her conditioner. Shay didn't struggle to hold up her sister; though they were both thin and Emily had a lot of hidden muscle, there was little fat on her body and she was still really tiny and lightweight.

"I-I K-killed th-them" she choked, holding tighter.

"No no, no no no baby. No honey." She told her. Gaby sat stunned and looked up when she felt the heavy arm of the fatherly Chief Boden on her back. Matt looked to Severide, who looked back with just as much confusion on his face. Shay held her tighter, squeezing her hand around the top of Emily's thigh, where it ended up from having Emily's bottom on her forearm. She pressed Emily's head closer into her neck with the other hand holding the child securely to her body. She began to move, moving them away from the crowd and the common room and towards the bunks.

Emily began to scream. Her scream echoed through the building as she looked up and took note of where they were going. Her desperate attempt to get out of Shay's arms worked and she tumbled to the floor before getting up and taking off. her un-plan was set in motion and she was headed for the garage in less than a second. She dodged Hermann, Severide, and cruz before making it outside- only to be dragged to the ground by Antonio, hugging her back to his torso. He lowered them to the ground, fear mingling in his features and lingering in his eyes. He looked up to Gaby, who ran after her and scrunched his face in disbelief that this is how he got to greet his little sister. Tears waterfalled down her cheeks, her mouth open in pain and yelling to be let go. He only held her tighter, holding her arms against her body while hugging her calm at the same time.

All Antonio could do at this point was ignore the stares and hold his baby tighter and tighter- and not let go.


End file.
